I'll Make a Deputy Out of You
by Apple Lani
Summary: AU: The many adventures of Mulan & Ruby as sheriff's deputies, starting with them being in charge of the sheriff's dept for a weekend while Emma's on her family vacation. This is a spin-off from Flash.Asuna's "The Shattered Looking Glass" (starting from her ch 6). Includes Sleeping Warrior & Red Beauty, and later Swan Queen. This is a crack fic!
1. Mulan All Grown Up & Saving Storybrooke

**A/N: As the beta for my BFF, I helped her create a lot of ideas, and often we laugh at what we come up with. Her story "The Shattered Looking Glass" is so beautiful that she didn't want to ruin it with our randomness, so she suggested I make a spin off. To better understand what's going on, I suggest you read that fic first! This story takes places during her chapter 6. Please review!  
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, but the characters' development goes along with "The Shattered Looking Glass"!**

* * *

Mulan leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes and shaking her head. With a heavy sigh, she closed the internet browser and stretched her arms above her head. Emma had recently introduced her to "internet streaming" and she had found some Chinese soap operas to watch. It was comforting to hear her native tongue being spoken, although in this world their speech was much more informal and casual than she was used to. It didn't take her long to pick it up, and the television shows helped.

Being new to this world, Mulan didn't initially understand the appeal of television shows or movies when Aurora and she were given a television by Ruby and Belle. After watching a few movies and shows that her friends insisted on watching, she got the hang of it. The Chinese drama she was currently watching was based on a young soldier who quickly rose amongst the ranks into a position of high merit. This was definitely something that a soldier like herself related to. However, this young warrior eventually developed feelings for the emperor's daughter, who was betrothed to the general's son. The general's son was the young warrior's friend and mentor. They had joined the military together and fought side-by-side in many battles. Mulan was enthralled with the action in the first few episodes, but too soon it turned into nothing more than a romantic drama.

At first, Mulan was repulsed by the romance. There was too much talking, sneaking around, and lying to each other. Soon, she couldn't stop watching. The young warrior was torn between duty, friendship and love. The princess, bound by honor and sacrifice, had an obligation to her kingdom. The general's son had no idea of the couple's love and he cared so much for the young warrior. Mulan's heart ached for the general's son and the warrior, hoping their friendship could last through it all. If only the princess wasn't in the way.

During the previous scene, Mulan watched attentively as the soldiers embraced tightly, the general's son swearing his undying loyalty to his friend. Their eyes met with determined passion. It wasn't until Mulan found herself crying from the intense feelings the scene created did she finally force herself away from the computer. There were only 5 episodes left of the show, but she needed to rebuild the strength in her heart. The strong soldier had no idea a television show could cause so much heartache.

Wiping her eyes, Mulan stood up and looked around the office. The phones were silent. Emma and she had finished all of the important paperwork before the sheriff left for her first family vacation. Knowing the importance of organization, Mulan had been showing Emma how to straighten up so the office was fairly clean. She walked over to look out the window into the bright day. The deputy had just finished her morning patrol; hence she "rewarded" herself with some television. A large book on a nearby filing cabinet caught her eye. It was the sheriff's rules and regulations book. There were several colored papers sticking out from the pages, marking the important laws that Emma thought her new deputy should know. Mulan had already read those, twice, and she was in the process of reading the entire thing. However, she didn't feel like being cooped up on a beautiful day like today. The grumbling of her stomach brought her attention to the wall clock. 1 o'clock already?! Where did the time go?

Mulan picked up the cellular phone that Emma had given her and clipped it to her hip on the belt of her dark skinny jeans, next to her deputy badge. Bending over she tightened the straps of her mid-calf leather boots, making sure the dagger within was also secure. Mulan put on the aviator glasses she found sitting in a desk drawer. She had never seen them before, and neither David nor Emma had ever worn them, but she loved them immediately. It didn't matter to whom they belonged because they were hers now. Mulan glanced at herself in the mirror. The large dark lens covered her eyes intimidatingly and the gunmetal gray frames stood out sophisticatedly against her tan skin. The thrill of being outside without the glare in her eyes gave her a new outlook on life, as if the day was hers to conquer. Holding her gray pea coat to wear over her gold V-neck blouse, Mulan stopped when she noticed Emma's red leather jacket on the coat rack. The girl was surprised that the sheriff would have left her favorite jacket. A sly smile spread across the deputy's face as she took the jacket and swung it around behind her, putting it on. Mulan was surprised it fit her so well. She straightened out the collar and pulled her ponytail out from behind her back, grabbed the office keys and headed out the door.

It was chilly out despite the sun beaming down when Mulan stepped out, and she was suddenly grateful she chose to wear her friend's jacket. She took a deep breath of the fresh outdoor air and exhaled slowly, then turned left towards the parking lot to the special awning Emma had installed for her. "Are you ready to stretch your legs, Mushu?" she asked her horse, untying its reins from the bicycle rack which she used as a hitching post. The reddish-brown horse snorted in response and the young warrior mounted her steed. Mulan gave it a quick squeeze with her knees and the horse started at a jolly trot.

Storybrooke was a much bigger town than the deputy sheriff expected but it was not a long journey to Granny's Diner. Her casual trot down the street turned many heads, most of which were more excited about seeing a horse in town. Mulan held her head up with pride and gazed down the street. All was peaceful in her new hometown.

Riding up to the curb, Mulan dismounted and lead Mushu up the sidewalk tying the reins to the fence. She stroked the horse's mane a few times then proceeded into the restaurant. There were already several people sitting at the outside tables. Ruby was serving the outside guests, and she gave Mulan a wink as she spotted her friend approaching the steps. With one fluid motion, Mulan swung the door towards her and stepped in. The happy jingle of a bell and warm murmur of voices greeted her as she stepped in, stopping a few moments with her hands on her hips to look around for a place to sit. Suddenly, there was the sound of a gasp quickly followed by the sharp clatter of breaking dishes.

The woman rushed over to the waitress, who was busy collecting the broken shards and obviously hiding her face in embarrassment. Ripping the sunglasses from her face, she asked, "Miss, are you all right? Please be careful, for you may cut yourself!" To her surprise, the waitress turned her head towards Mulan and from behind the light brown hair was the reddened face of her beloved. "Aurora! I did not recognize you! Allow me to clean this!" After slipping the sunglasses into the front of her shirt, Mulan took over collecting the broken plates and glass. A bus boy came with a broom to sweep the remnants from the floor.

The two girls stood up and Mulan carried the tray back to the kitchen with Aurora, who was still averting her eyes with flushed cheeks. After throwing the remains into the garbage and setting the tray on the bus station, Mulan turned to her girlfriend with a look of concern. "Are you sure you are okay? What caused you to drop the tray? Did something frighten you?" she asked.

Aurora, who had been looking to the ground, slowly raised her head with desire flashing in her eyes. "You, my darling, look absolutely ravishing!" she announced, fishing the aviator glasses from Mulan's chest and placed them on the other girl. Suddenly, Aurora pulled her lover close for a fiery kiss. Initially she was startled, but the feel of unexpected affections was exciting and Mulan returned the embrace with equal intensity.

"Hey!" a voice called out, breaking the two apart. Ruby peeked her head into the back and a knowing grin was on her face. "Break it up, kids! It's a Saturday, and we're only going to get busier!" she laughed. Aurora gave her girlfriend another quick kiss and rushed back out to attend her tables.

As Mulan walked past Ruby back into the general dining room, she felt a hand give her bottom a firm slap. She spun around and looked at Ruby in shock.

A light giggle escaped Ruby's lips. "Look at you, hot stuff! Emma's jacket looks good on you, but those glasses really set it off. Damn, woman! No wonder Aurora dropped her tray and can't keep her hands off of you!" Ruby looked behind Mulan, and the deputy turned her head to meet her friend's gaze. They caught Aurora stealing another glance at her girlfriend before blushing again and turning to attend waiting customers. Granny's chuckle could be heard from the register.

Mulan took the glasses off and replaced them on to the front of her shirt, and took a seat at the bar. "Thank you, I suppose," the girl answered. She was never really one for words and was at a loss at how to respond.

Luckily, her friend was always too observant and knew just how to set the mood, or change it. "What'll it be?" Ruby asked, sensing her friend's embarrassment at the sudden attention.

"I truly enjoy what this world does with its pork belly. I shall have a BLT and a salad, with iced tea," Mulan smiled, and the thought of bacon made her salivate. Pork belly was always a specialty of her mother's back home in mainland China, but the bacon here was truly magical. It was like a little slice of home so far away, but taken to the next level. A savory, salty, greasy level that sent her taste buds on a special journey.

"Double bacon?" Ruby asked.

A blur passed them answering, "Triple bacon." The door towards the kitchen swung closed but they were able to catch a flurry of light brown hair disappear behind it.

Laughing, she said, "Triple bacon it is. I can't argue with that. She knows what her woman wants." The waitress winked again and quickly jotted on the pad. After placing the order to the kitchen, she stepped out from behind the counter to attend more customers.

Leroy, who was sitting a few seats away from Mulan, looked at her seriously. She returned his stare steadily, assessing his current state. He was holding a glass that was half empty of beer. His dilated pupils and heavy breathing told Mulan that this wasn't his first, or even second, glass. "Yes, Leroy?" she asked calmly.

He gave her a large smile. "You've got a horse!" The excitement on his face bothered the woman.

"Yes…. Yes I do. As I am not yet accustomed to… cars, the sheriff was able to acquire a horse for me. From what I understand, it's not unusual for police officers to use horses although it is not common practice," she replied cautiously. The deputy wasn't quite sure why the man was so interested in her horse, but she knew she didn't like it.

"Can I ride it?" he asked eagerly. "I never had the chance back home, what with the height thing, but I'm taller now. I've always wanted to ride a horse!"

Mulan stared back at him. "I doubt you're tall enough even now to mount my steed without a pedestal."

Granny let out a loud laugh as she set down Mulan's iced tea in front of her. "She's right, little man! I think we've got a ladder in the back you can borrow!"

Embarrassed, Leroy grumbled into his glass and took a long drink.

Glad that there was something to occupy her, the deputy sipped on her tea. She didn't intend to humiliate the man, but she also didn't want to give him false hopes. Plus, Mushu was _her_ horse and she was already in love with him.

The food came quickly, which she devoured. In her mind, she heard her mother's voice nag, "Aiyaah, Mulan! Slow down! A lady never shovels food in her mouth! How can you enjoy your meal if you do not chew well? You cannot savor the taste!" The taste of bacon lingered on her lips, which she licked deliciously. So much for not being able to savor her meal. There was another gasp and the sound of clattering dishes, though there were no broken dishes this time. Mulan turned to see Aurora recollecting herself and the glasses that had tumbled about on her tray. She wondered why her girlfriend was being so clumsy today, when she always carried herself with the grace of a princess.

Granny came by and handed Mulan the check. "You'd better get out of here. Aurora can't focus on her work today with you here and I don't think I can afford any more broken dishes," she said. Though she was smiling, Granny's eyes were hard with sincerity.

Pulling out a couple of bills and placing it on the counter, Mulan thanked the older woman. She pulled a toothpick out of the dispenser and put it in her mouth. After putting her sunglasses back on, she nodded her head to Ruby and Aurora.

As she turned, a voice gasped, "Oh, dear lord!" Mulan spun back around and saw that Aurora had fainted into Ruby's arms. She was about to rush to the aid of her girlfriend, but Ruby just shooed her away with her hand.

"You'll only make things worse by sticking around. Get out of here!" her friend called. With a shrug Mulan left the diner.

* * *

The afternoon patrol started slowly while the bacon digested within Mulan's stomach. She thanked herself for not being completely unhealthy; French fries as a side would have completely shut down her system. It's not that she was opposed to fried foods, but she didn't like to indulge in it too often. As she continued on her jog down the street, she spotted something. Finally, some action!

Looking down to the horn of her saddle, she saw the switch Emma helped her install. She flipped it, and a red light attached to Mushu's chest began to flash as Mulan urged the horse to a gallop and followed a car. Since they were still within downtown limits, the car wasn't going very fast, but it didn't seem to slow down. Mulan pressed her heels into the horse and rode to the side of the car. Pulling up alongside, the astonished driver finally noticed the officer clearly in pursuit of his vehicle. She glared at him, gesturing him to pull over. The red-haired man pulled his car to the side of the road and Mushu stopped several feet behind the car.

Mulan reached down into a pocket of the saddle to pull out a pad. She started filling out the proper paperwork: date and time, car make and model, license plate number, offense, her badge number. It seemed an awful lot of technicalities, but she didn't want to disappoint the sheriff. Additionally, she wanted to let Mushu catch his breath; he was the one that did all the work and chasing after a car wasn't easy.

Dismounting, the deputy noted several people staring at her in awe. Perhaps the townsfolk had never seen anyone being pulled over by a horse before but she didn't let the attention get to her head. She slowly sauntered towards the car, letting her legs readjust to walking after the hard gallop. Heavy, intentional footsteps followed each other one by one, echoing on the pavement. Moving the toothpick to the corner of her mouth with her tongue, Mulan bent down and leaned her forearm on the side of the car door. "License, registration and insurance," she said gruffly.

Archie gave a gulp as he gazed into his own reflection in the aviator glasses. He asked, "Um… what seems to the problem?" Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he handed over his information.

Mulan looked at the documents carefully, and tucked them into her pad. "Sir, you are driving with a passenger who is not properly utilizing a safety belt, which is clearly defined by Maine state law, title 29-1, section 281: passengers less than 18 years of age riding in a vehicle are required by the United States Department of Transportation to be equipped with seat belts," she informed him, and looked towards his back seat.

The red-haired man twisted around and looked at his only passenger, Pongo, who gave a soft whine. He gave a laugh and turned back to Mulan, who was still staring at him intently. Clearing his throat, Archie stopped laughing and replied, "Mulan, I know you're new here, but that law doesn't apply to animals."

She frowned. "Why should it not?"

The therapist shrugged, "I don't know. It only applies to people. Look, there's no real crime here so why don't you just let me go? I have an appointment in 15 minutes and I don't want to be late."

"Why should you be the only one bound by law to ensure your own safety, while you risk your companion's life to travel in this monstrous vehicle without the advantage of a safety restraint?" she asked seriously.

The look on Archie's face was tremendous. He was shocked that someone suggested he buckle up his dog, but the shame on his face for being so inconsiderate to his best friend was clear. He got out of the car and opened the backseat of his car, so that he could secure Pongo in the seat belt. The Dalmatian seemed to bark gratefully.

A large smile threatened to spread on Mulan's face, but she remembered Emma's advice and kept her face hard and determined. "Thank you, sir. I'll let you off with a warning this time," she informed as she handed him back his information.

A sigh of relief was breathed appreciatively. "Thank you. And, did you really just pull me over on a horse?"

The deputy furrowed her brow. "I did not ask you to question my method of transportation. Do not make me regret not writing you up for animal neglect," she retorted angrily. She spun on her heel and returned to her steed.

Mulan patted his neck gratefully. "Some people have no respect around here!" she told him. Mushu let out a loud snort. The deputy remounted her horse and continued her afternoon patrol.


	2. Mulan & Ruby: Reflections

Ruby walked into the diner wearing sneakers, black jeans, and a white and gray plaid top under a deep red coat. She was dressed much more comfortably than the waitress uniform she had just shed. She announced, "Okay, Granny. I'm off to the sheriff's office now for my shift."

The older woman frowned, "I told you to take the morning off since you'll be helping Mulan tonight. Are you sure you're up for it?"

The younger woman flashed a smile. "I'll be fine. I told you, I have more than enough energy. Aren't you glad I stuck around this morning? The little leaguers were quite the handful, even for me."

Granny approached her granddaughter and hugged her tightly. When they parted, she looked sternly into Ruby's eyes and said, "You be careful out there. I know Mulan's a fine warrior and you've regained much of your power and skill since the curse broke, but that doesn't mean the two of you can jump into battle just because you think you can. You call me if you need back up. Do you understand me?"

Mockingly, Ruby saluted her grandmother. "10-4." She saw the disapproval on Granny's face and rushed out the door before she was scolded again. She may be a grown woman, but her grandmother never let that stop her from scolding Ruby whenever she saw fit.

The red Camaro shone brightly in the afternoon sun. It took a long time, but Ruby finally saved enough money to fix it back up, and she was glad she did. Belle had fallen in love with the car, and at times Ruby joked that her girlfriend only stayed with her because of it. However, the wolf-woman changed her mind the first time she saw Belle washing the car on her own. The car didn't even seem all that dirty, so she was startled to walk outside to the sight of Belle wearing cork wedges and a bikini scrubbing the soapy solution on the hood. Ruby sipped some lemonade and watched while lounged on a lawn chair. And her girlfriend made sure she enjoyed the view. The beloved Camaro was, once again, glistening in the sun like a jewel. She stroked the top of her car grateful to her thoughtful sweetheart, but also a little sad she didn't catch the show this last time.

She got into the car and started driving towards the sheriff's office. When she looked at the time, 4 PM, her eyes widened in alarm. "Oh, shit!" she shouted, turning her wheel hard and slamming on the brakes, causing her car to spin around with a screech. There was the sound of a loud and angry honk behind her, but she didn't pay it any attention. Ruby peeled out and sped towards the stables.

A while later, she reached her destination on the outskirts of town. Instead of seeing Mulan sitting impatiently for her, the deputy was inside the stable brushing the horse. When Ruby stepped out, she heard Mulan singing a bright song in Chinese to her steed. "Hey, Mulan. Sorry I'm late. I got held up at the diner and I almost forgot to pick you up from here," she explained.

Mulan didn't answer, but continued brushing the horse until her song was finished. She gave the horse a pat on its neck and fed it a sugar cube from her pocket before cleaning up. "I did not notice you were late. I was making sure that Mushu was comfortable for the night," Mulan responded.

"Oh, good. I thought you'd be mad," she sighed with relief. "That was a pretty song you were singing. I didn't know you have such a nice voice." The two women made their way to the car.

"It is an old army tune I learned during my service to the emperor. It is far from pretty. The song is meant to encourage the troops, saying that we, the emperor's servants, will vanquish the enemy no matter how much of our blood is spilled and that it will be the bodies of our foes that outnumber ours on the fields of battle." Mulan stepped in and closed the door.

Ruby stopped with her hand on the car door, frozen in astonishment. "Well, it _sounded_ pretty," she said to herself. She shrugged and got into the car, driving both deputies back into the town proper.

Barely had the two women walked into the office when Mulan's phone rang. "Sheriff's office, Mulan speaking," she answered.

"Mulan, it's Granny. Just a heads up, Leroy left the diner. And I'm sure the two of you know that he has been drinking all day," the familiar voice informed them.

The deputy nodded. "Thank you, Granny. We will definitely be on alert." She hung up the phone and looked to her inquisitive friend. "Your grandmother said that Leroy has left the diner. As he has been imbibing, we should expect some trouble."

The other woman picked up her keys again, which she had set down to pin her deputy badge to her jacket. "We should probably go look for him."

At that moment, there was a sound of clicking coming from outside. "Wait," Mulan warned, "Do you hear that?" Again, the sound of a few clicks being made by a person's mouth was heard before it stopped. It happened a few more times, and Mulan was able to track the sound passing under the window of the sheriff's office. "It's coming from outside! Let's go!"

Running out, they found Leroy in a crouched crawl on the sidewalk looking around and clicking his mouth. "Here, horsey horsey horsey…" he whispered into the ground.

"Leroy!" Ruby shouted.

The drunken dwarf looked from Mulan to Ruby, then back at Mulan. "I _will_ ride your horse, Mulan!" He stood up and took off towards the parking lot with Ruby following him closely.

Mulan stood still as she watched the dwarf pursued by the she-wolf disappear into the parking lot, then back out towards the street. "He's not there!" Leroy announced as he passed the confused deputy.

The brunette stopped briefly and urged, "Come on, Mulan!" She continued to chase after the drunk man again.

Shrugging, Mulan began running after the two. The warrior quickly caught up with her companion and asked, "Why are we chasing a dwarf?"

"Because Leroy is friggin' drunk again!"

"But usually drunkards just pass out somewhere until morning."

Ruby looked towards her friend exasperatedly. "Yeah, we kinda can't let that happen around here. Just catch him and I'll buy you a bear claw."

With a sudden determination, Mulan doubled her running speed. The thought of the soft, sweet goodness of a bear claw paired with silky and creamy hot cocoa made her salivate. To her astonishment, the little man was quicker than she had anticipated. Leroy was doing a good job of weaving through the streets. The sound of tires squealing and irritated car horns could be heard throughout their path. Thankfully, the sound of metal crunching was nowhere to be heard. Ruby, trailing shortly behind, kept waving apologies to angry drivers as they passed.

Rounding a corner, his foot hit the edge of the curb causing him to falter slightly. That was all the hesitation Mulan needed. She leaped into the air and, using a fire hydrant as a jump off, launched herself towards the drunkard. They both fell forward onto the pavement with a loud thud when Mulan landed on his back. Leroy groaned audibly as the deputy straddled his legs, took his arms and wrapped them behind his back.

Heavy gasps behind Mulan let her know that her companion was able to keep up, though with much difficulty. Unable to speak though her gasps, Ruby held out handcuffs which Mulan took to restrain the man. As Leroy was pulled up, a large wave of nausea hit him. He opened his mouth to warn the girls, but a large amount of vomit escaped his gullet instead.

"Ugh!" Mulan cried. "Come on, Leroy. I will read you your rights as we return to the station. A night behind bars should give you enough time to think about your consequences."

Leroy grumbled under his breath, "I didn't even find the horse..."

By the time the group returned to the sheriff's office, Ruby had explained to Mulan that Leroy was a repeat offender and since there was no real harm done this time, she suggested that he just sit in the jail cell until he sobered up. In fact, due to his large volume of vomiting, his body only had to pass what his body had already absorbed. The dwarf was already feeling better at that moment.

Mulan wanted to book him to the fullest extent of the law, following all of the rules and regulations outlined in the book Emma had instructed her to read. However, as Leroy had apologized profusely, multiple times, Mulan allowed the man to sober up in the cell for a few hours. As she recalled, it's what the sheriff had done just the day before with him. Fishing around in the office, Ruby found an electronic device that Mulan found curious. Through the bars, the woman held the device to Leroy's face and he blew into it. It let out a small series of beeps, and then flashed the number "0.15" on the little screen.

"Good job, Leroy! Much lower than last time!" Ruby said. As she explained the theory of blood alcohol level to Mulan, her eyes grew wide with astonishment.

"I had no idea that the consumption of alcohol and its effects was studied so! It is fascinating! Still, what does this mean for Leroy's detention?"

The brunette looked down at the screen and wiggled her fingers a few times. "Maybe a few hours in the cell will be enough before we take him home. ONLY if he promises to behave, stay home and sober up," she announced, glaring at him.

He pouted as he plopped down on the bed. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever, sister... Not that you broads have anything better to do."

"Go home, Leroy! You're drunk!" the girl shouted angrily.

"Yeah, you'd like that!" he replied.

The confused deputy put her hands up in the air. "All right, children! That is enough bickering! Do not make me separate you two!" she warned. Ruby sat down in a chair and swiveled her back towards the other man. The dwarf just stared back up at the ceiling resuming his supine position on the bed.

Mulan took her seat at the desk next to Ruby's and started fiddling with the phones, turning off the call forwarding features to allow calls to return to the office.

Ruby was sitting at her desk, angrily texting Belle and complaining about the drunken dwarf's insult.

Moments later, the other girl said, "I managed to alter the call forwarding. If the phone in the office is not answered within three rings, it shall forward to your cellular phone."

With a look of awe and surprise, the waitress asked, "But... how? You didn't even touch my phone. And these office phones look as old as, well... as old as Emma!"

A smirk spread across the deputy's face. "These electronics are fascinating and I have been able to figure them out rather quickly." The two shared a laugh, and Ruby expressed her gratitude.

"So, are you ready to go home now?"

Mulan leaned back in the chair. "Thank you, but no. Today has been rather slow, besides our jog with Leroy. Aurora's shift at your grandmother's eatery does not end for another hour, so I would not be opposed to keeping you company." She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.

While Mulan relaxed in the chair, Ruby busied herself by checking her official Storybrooke County e-mail, which had piled up since the last time she was in the office. Most of the items were generic memos, and anything important Emma had updated the part-time deputy over the phone. An e-mail caught her eye, from Harvard University Foster Child Outreach. "Hey! I think I got something on Alice," she said optimistically. She was sure Emma would want to be notified immediately.

"I have already spoken to the sheriff about that. It merely acknowledges the inquiry made about the young child. I forwarded the message," Mulan shrugged.

Ruby frowned. In those fleeting seconds, she had gotten her hopes up. Alice was adorable and fit in so well already with the little family, and was especially attached Regina. Secretly, the she-wolf had already pictured playing aunt to the little girl, Belle and she whisking her away on play dates and spoiling her rotten.

When she looked up, she noted that her colleague was sitting quite still in the chair with her eyes closed. "Um, Mulan, if you're sleepy you really don't need to stay with me. You can go home." Leroy's loud snores were already heard from the far corner jail cell.

Slowly opening her eyes, she looked back at Ruby. "I was not asleep. I was meditating, but I was having a hard time clearing my mind." She frowned. "May I ask a question? It may be personal and perhaps…. disrespectful."

Putting on the face of a concerned friend, Ruby leaned forward. "Of course you can ask me anything. I'd like to think we're close friends. I think of you as one of my new besties, next to Emma."

"Besties?" the warrior asked hesitantly.

"You know, best friends. BFFs. Buddies. Homies. Pals…. Anyways, what's up?"

Mulan sighed. She was still getting used to the idioms of this world, some which she understood right away and some which she thought she'd never comprehend. "Well, I wanted to know 'what is up' with that Regina. I know she is the mate of Sheriff Swan. However, she is not the friendliest of people. And what did she mean that I am an 'upgrade from that prince'? I shall be civil to her as long as she is the Savior's love, but I did not tolerate the way she addressed my Aurora!" As much as she enjoyed Ruby's companionship and appreciated her help during her transition into life in Storybrooke, she was determined to continue to protect Aurora. If another potential adversary was in her midst, she needed to know about it.

Ruby leaned back hard into the chair. This wasn't the question she was expecting, and she didn't think she was the right one to explain the deputy mayor to the new kid in town. Taking a deep breath in, she replied, "Regina is… well, she's complicated. She's totally changed from what she used to be and she's trying really hard. You know it's hard to change overnight but… back home, she was the Evil Queen. Snow White's step mother." She stopped, expecting Mulan to scream, stand up, run for cover. However, there was no such reaction. Her companion's face was quiet, still with the frown she wore from the beginning of the conversation. Ruby took Mulan's silence as a sign to continue her story.

Since Mulan knew much of the history of Storybrooke and the curse, Ruby filled in some of the details of Regina and her life since Emma's arrival. Her constant battles between good and evil within herself, her desire to change and progress so far, and many of the obstacles she's had to face. To her surprise, Ruby found herself speaking well of the former Evil Queen. It was her partner, Belle, who had always found the good in people despite the ugly. It seemed that Belle had rubbed off on her.

At the end of her story, Ruby sat with bated breath and awaited a response from Mulan. The former soldier was still the entire time, with the tranquility of a statue absorbing all of the information. After a long pause, Mulan countered, "So Regina, this former Evil Queen, is _not_ an enemy that I should fear. I trust Emma, as I trust you. It will take some time explaining to Aurora but I can be sure she will understand, especially as the Savior has bested my beloved's nemesis, Maleficent. Yet I am concerned of one thing: can Regina really control her mother?"

Letting out a deep breath and laughing, the wolf-woman smiled. "Of course! Emma and Regina are all over it." Suddenly, the warrior picked up a stapler on the table and shook it violently. Her black eyes pierced the object as she watched it expectantly, then, finally satisfied, she replaced it back onto the desk. "Um, what was that all about?" Ruby asked cautiously.

Mulan looked back gravely. "I needed to make sure that the stapler was not, in fact, Cora."

What started as an amused laugh slowly turned into a nervous chuckle. Ruby grasped for her phone in a panic and sent a text to Emma: "_Are you SURE that Cora doesn't have any magic left? And is she really is out of town?"_

To their surprise, the phone immediately vibrated happily with a response. "_Are you guys stupid? Cora exchanged her magic so she could stay here. Regina and I were the ones who took her power."_ Ruby sighed with relief and read the message back. She texted back her thanks.

Mulan nodded, also with a weight lifted from her chest. "It will be reassuring to not have to worry about any rivals in this land. We can start a peaceful life together." When she looked upon her friend, she noticed that her anxiety still remained. "You seem rather disturbed at our conversation," she observed.

The other girl's face fell. "Granny was Cora'd once; she was impersonating me. And I was the one that was punished for it. Two weeks dungeon. It was almost a month. Mmmhmm," she sulked. Mulan could hardly stifle her giggle. Unable to contain herself, she doubled over clutching her stomach and laughing. Ruby's face broke into a wide grin and she joined in.

When the laughter died down and Ruby delicately wiped a tear from her eye, careful not to smear her eyeliner, Mulan's curiosity piqued on her face again. "I do not mean to be impertinent, but I have another question. As we are 'homies', I hope you will answer me sincerely and are not offended. Your nails are surprisingly long. How do you not harm your lover… if you know what you mean?"

A howl of laughter was heard again. "You are effing hilarious today!" Ruby held her hands out in front of her to admire her nails. They were clean and well-manicured, but unpolished since she hadn't had the time to paint them. The whites of her nails were perhaps half a centimeter long and, from that angle, they almost seemed menacing. In her own defense, she answered, "They're not _that_ long. And no, I've never hurt Belle. At least, she's never complained. But," she leaned closer to Mulan and whispered, "she likes it kind of rough every once in a while."

A smirk appeared on Mulan's face. "Yeah, it is truly stirring when the seemingly good girls are the ones who… 'make it nasty.'"

"Ooh, I like this new Mulan!" She edged closer to her friend.

The warrior shrugged. "One does not serve in the emperor's army for years without learning how to talk of sex with women convincingly, or picking up a few tricks. However, it took me quite a while to realize there was merit in what they were saying."

"Oh, yeah? What kind of tricks did the 'men' teach you in that army of yours?"

"Mostly what _not_ to do with women!" They shared another laugh. Mulan took her friend's hand and examined her nails more closely. "Yet, what I did learn was long nails were never a good idea for when you wanted to pleasure a lady with your fingers."

"I like my nail length! If Belle really complains, I guess I could always use a glove."

"But it does not feel the same! You would lose sensation! I want to be able to feel everything," Mulan argued. She started rubbing her first two fingers of her hand with her thumb up and down, looking up in contemplation. At the same moment, Ruby started fingering her left hand with her right two fingers. Each woman was lost in her own sensory reminiscences. After a while, they looked at each other and realized they were both having the same thoughts and burst into laughter once again.

Ruby took her companion's hand and held it in front of her face. "No, really. Put your fingers together," she instructed. Mulan obeyed. The waitress took her two fingers and squeezed them between the other's enclosed fingertips. When Mulan started to open her hand, she said, "No, keep them closed around my fingers. I want to show you something." Curling her fingers up, Ruby gave the palm small strokes back and forth with her fingertips, her nails were barely felt on the other woman's hand.

"Well, it seems you have proven me wrong. Your nails are not too long, and may indeed provide extra stimulation. I reckon Belle enjoys that," Mulan confessed.

A devious smirk spread across Ruby's lips. "You should hear her when I start hitting that spot. And she bites her lower lip just slightly…"

"What are you guys doing?!" a surprised voice asked.

Mulan and Ruby, their hands still held together, looked up to see their girlfriends who had just walked into the sheriff's office holding paper bags and cups in a drink carrier. Belle looked on with an expression of surprise and irritation, while Aurora seemed mildly amused.

"Nothing, babe," Ruby replied, as she pulled her hands away.

Mulan stood to embrace her lover. She was about to open her mouth to explain themselves, but she caught a warning glance from her wolf friend. Instead, she gave her girlfriend a kiss, lifted her into her arms and carried the princess to the small couch.

The librarian, who had a suspicion of what the two were talking about, sat on her girlfriend's lap with a grimace. "Mmhm. So what was all this about then?" she asked, holding up Ruby's hands. Instead of getting an answer, she received a loving kiss.

The deputies were happily surprised to learn that Belle had collected Aurora once her shift was over and the two brought their hard-working girlfriends dinner to eat at the station. The cheerful group enjoyed their meal together, even when Leroy awoke and demanded to join as well. Feeling friendly, Mulan gave half of her sandwich to the dwarf, who greedily devoured his share. They spent most of the evening together, exchanging stories and even more laughs. Aurora, who had been on her feet all day, fell asleep on the couch. Mulan used her ignored pea coat as a blanket for her girlfriend.

* * *

**A/N: To better understand what's going on in the sheriff's office, and the dynamics of the "Trifecta" (what we've taken to calling Swan Queen, Red Beauty and Sleeping Warrior), I'd like to reiterate to you, dear readers, the significance of reading "The Shattered Looking Glass". There are a few details here that you may find in her story, and that's where you'll also meet the adorable Alice!**


	3. Girls Fighting For What?

"What is that?" Mulan asked, pointing to a circle mounted to the wall. Aurora had been asleep for a while, and Belle was reading an e-book on her phone. While taking a short walk around the room to stretch her legs, Mulan had noticed the curious object.

"Oh, the dartboard? It's a game," Ruby replied.

Approaching the cork board and examining it, Mulan asked, "How do you play?"

Putting her phone down, Belle took in a deep breath and started, "Let me explain it to you…" She began describing object of the game, the many rules, specifications and even defined terminology. Naturally, she had read all about darts and was excited about sharing her knowledge with another.

Although Mulan seemed interested, Ruby rolled her eyes. "Never mind the walking encyclopedia. We each get three darts and take turns throwing them at the board. We'll play how I learned: first person to exactly 300 points wins. If you go over, the first person to get a bullseye – the circle in the middle – wins," Ruby stated, handing her friend three darts with orange tails. She kept the blue ones for herself.

Pouting and crossing her arms, Belle grumbled. "Well, I'm sorry for knowing about darts!"

Laughing, her girlfriend said, "You know everything about everything." Seeing that the librarian was still sulking she leaned over and gave her a sweet kiss. The wolf-woman then took a roll of tape and placed a strip on the ground several feet away from the dartboard. "Okay, Mulan. I'll go first." She threw her first dart: 15. Smiling, she took another deep breath and threw another dart: 20. Taking her time with the last dart, she hit the bullseye. "Yes! 85 points!" Smugly, she stepped aside and awaited her opponent.

Mulan held her hand up, testing the weight of the dart before she threw. It missed the board.

"It's okay, Mulan. You're just learning," her friend reassured.

The soldier frowned. She threw two darts in quickly one after the other, each hitting 20 at the top of the board and relatively close to each other. Belle's soft laughter echoed as the sound of her pencil scratched on paper. The two women approached the board to retrieve their darts.

Ruby took her place behind the line, aiming for the section Mulan had accurately hit with her last two darts. Three sets of twenty. She leered at the other woman, daring for her to do better.

Mulan's stoic face showed no emotion as she positioned herself to throw. Two bullseyes and an 18, just barely missing the center.

"Wow! 158 points! She's got you by 13 points," Belle announced.

A low growl was heard. "I've got this, babe," the she-wolf said curtly. It wasn't enough to quell Belle's snicker, but she didn't say anything else. When the two approached the board to retrieve their darts, Ruby eyed Mulan cautiously. "It's beginner's luck, that's all." Walking back, she threw again with more controlled movement. 20, 50, double 20. "Ah ha!" she cackled.

The tension was growing as Mulan glared at her opponent before starting her turn. 50, double 20, triple 5.

Belle pronounced, "Ruby 255, Mulan 260!" A low hiss was heard, but no words were exchanged as the couple stared at each other, Ruby's eyes shooting daggers and Belle's warm with amusement and affection.

After retrieving their darts, Ruby threw again. 20, 15, 15. "Damn! Missed the 10!"

Ruby turned around to stalk off when she heard the darts hit the board in rapid succession. 20, 20, and a dead-center bullseye. The arrogant look on Mulan's face only further inflamed the irritable she-wolf. Ruby's green eyes flashed dangerously as the victor asked, "Belle, what is the score?"

Unable to hold back her laughter, the librarian said, "Ruby 305, Mulan 353. But as your last shot was a bullseye, Mulan, you're the winner!"

Mulan stood smiling with her arms across her chest while the loser retrieved all of the darts. "Beginner's luck, you say?" the warrior asked mockingly, taking back her darts.

The defeated woman stepped close to her rival, her eyes darkening. "That's exactly what it was, Mulan! One more game!"

Shrugging, the soldier said, "Sure. I do not mind showing you how to play this game again."

The librarian's laughter behind the desk was buried by the deep growl in Ruby's chest. "You know what? I've got a wager for you. Thanksgiving's coming up pretty soon, and Granny's expecting a huge delivery. The loser has to help her unload the trucks. ALONE!" she threatened.

Mulan stepped into Ruby, the burn of competition sending tingles through her body. "I hope you are ready to taste failure a second time."

Ruby motioned for her friend to take her place at the line, allowing her to take the first turn. "Wait!" she called out, as Mulan set her body in a throwing stance. Scrolling through her iPod, the wolf-woman smiled as she found what she wanted. The sound of aggressive drum beats and guitars started playing.

"Oooh, Shirley Manson," Belle breathed, clearly excited by her girlfriend's song choice.

"_I was angry when I met you, I think I'm angry still_…" the sultry voice sang out.

Mulan scowled, "Do not think you can distract me with that siren's call." Holding the first dart heavy with purpose, she flung her wrist forward and the dart stuck into the board with a delighted thunk. Triple 20. Their scorekeeper gasped, but Mulan's face was contorted in concentration. Another two thuds, and another two triple 20s.

Furious, Ruby lightly pushed her laughing opponent to the side. Her mind was racing with the excitement and determination for success, but she kept her body still and cool. With a whiz in the air, the first dart hit a triple 15. "See, you're not the only one who knows how to get a high score," she sneered to Mulan. The she-wolf was happy to see the superior grin on the other's face fall. Successfully, she hit the bullseye with her last two throws.

A shocked Mulan glanced at Belle. "Oh, um…" the librarian muttered. She quickly worked the problem and said, "Mulan 180, Ruby 145."

Mulan sighed in relief. She was sure that she had fallen behind but relaxed to learn she was still on top. "I will finish this now." Three darts hit the bullseye three times.

Not to be outdone, Ruby stretched her neck, moving her head to each shoulder and shook her arms. She carefully calculated her moves. First, she hit a bullseye. She stood up straight and looked at Belle, who raised her eyebrow trying to assess her partner's strategy. She hit a triple 20, and Belle couldn't hold back her eager squeal. With one last throw, the dart landed in precisely the same spot as her first throw of the round, in triple 15.

The excited girl jumped up from the desk and embraced her victor. "Oh, Ruby! You are amazing! A perfect 300!" Leaning up, she rewarded the woman with a kiss.

At that moment, the phone rang. Mulan stomped angrily to the phone. "Sheriff's office, Mulan!" she all but shouted to the other end. Her scowl pulled back in surprise. "Oh, yes. Of course, Mother Superior. I understand. We will be right there."

Finally able to peel herself away from the affections of her lover, the other deputy asked, "What's wrong?"

Her face full of determination, she answered, "Mother Superior reported some kids loitering near the strip mall. She has requested that we investigate this noise violation."

Looking at the clock that read 8 o'clock, Ruby announced they should take Leroy home and investigate the call they received. It was about time for the final patrol of the evening. Taking the breathalyzer again, she instructed Leroy to blow. After the now familiar beeps, the screen flashed "0.06." Impressed, Ruby said, "Wow, you're good to go!" Taking the keys, she opened the jail cell door.

"Us dwarves got a fast metabolism, especially when it comes to alcohol," he murmured.

Belle clasped her hands together happily. "Oh, I have a wonderful idea! Let's take the paddy wagon and do the evening patrol together!" she proclaimed.

Ruby was about to protest until she saw that Aurora, who had woken up refreshed, was also keen on joining. Mulan insisted on finishing Ruby's shift with her despite starting her day 12 hours earlier. Especially being beaten so marginally in their game of darts, the new deputy felt the need to prove herself once more. Dejectedly, Ruby hunted for the keys to the sheriff department's SUV and ushered everyone out.

A cold breeze greeted the group as they made their way out. Mulan still wore Emma's red jacket, since it fit her so well and Aurora was using the pea coat for extra warmth. After driving the short distance to Leroy's house, the dispatcher came on the radio to inform the deputies of a noise disturbance nearby. Mulan raised her eyebrows, realizing that it was a repeat call from what they had received earlier.

"10-4, we're on our way," Ruby replied into the radio. "You'd think there's an explosion. Can't some people just wait?" she muttered to herself.

The warrior turned to face the other girls. "Ladies, do not worry. Your brave deputies shall ensure your safety while we take care of a little business. There is nothing the two of us cannot handle. Nothing shall endanger our beloved ones." Mulan smiled brazenly, and gave her lover a wink.

Aurora's blush was unseen in the darkness, but Belle's surprise was heard in her voice. "O-of course, Mulan. We know you'll protect us." Though she was unable to see, Mulan knew that Belle wore a wide smile from the smooth compliment she had passed.

Ruby looked over to her friend and mouthed, "Nice!" Under the stoic shell of a soldier was a suave and cool personality that Ruby was determined to bring out more.

Leaning back with a smug expression on her face, she pointed to the backseat with her thumb and whispered, "I sometimes have that effect on women."

Soon, Ruby drove up to the parking of a strip mall. Despite the businesses being closed for the day, there was a group of people under a lamp post with loud music playing from a boom box. Mulan instructed the other ladies to stay in the vehicle while the two deputies stepped out to approach the group.

The assemblage varied in age, from a few who barely looked old enough to shave to a couple of people who had actually gone to school with Ruby although a few years younger. A few people ran off as the car approached, but most of the people remained. As the deputies approached the collection, the music stopped. "Hey, guys, we got a call complaining about the noise. I know it's a Saturday and the last place you want to be is home, but you gotta keep it down," Ruby instructed.

One of the older teens, dressed in loose cargo pants, an A-line tank top, a beanie and a band around his elbow walked towards Ruby and looked her straight in the eye. "We're not doing anything bad here, _Red_, so I suggest you take your army brat here and leave," he threatened.

Mulan started towards the youngster, but Ruby held her back. "Back off, Ted. We're not here to arrest you. We're not even here telling you that you have to stop. Just keep the noise level down. You know the folks in Storybrooke like to keep it quiet around here. Hell, if I could dance like you guys, I'd be out here too." Working in the diner, Ruby pretty much knew everyone in town. She knew there was nothing wrong with what they were doing, but she had her duty as a sheriff's deputy.

The new deputy looked from the group of kids to her friend. "They are allowed to dance in the streets?" she asked confused.

Ruby took Mulan to the side and whispered, "Well, there's no curfew in Storybrooke and they're not really doing anything bad. They just need to keep the noise down. But you should see what these guys, and girls, can do. Then you'll understand why it's so hard to keep it quiet."

Bringing Mulan to the rest of the group, she announced, "Hey, I want you guys to meet Mulan. She just moved here a couple of weeks ago from the Enchanted Forest, and she's the newest deputy sheriff. Why don't you give her a little show?" Ruby waved to the two in the car, signaling to them to join the others outside.

There was a rush of people around Mulan as they excitedly crowded her. She wasn't used to all of the attention, and attempted to turn back to what the group was about to demonstrate.

Pointing to the ground, she asked, "What is this style of dancing that requires you to be out on the street, and a brown mat on the ground?"

Ted laughed. "That's cardboard. I'll show you what it's made for. Just step back a little." He turned the boom box back on, and with a nod from Ruby, turned the volume down. Still, the clash of horns and drums carried through the cold night air. "_All you Trekkies and TV addicts, don't mean to dis, don't mean to bring the static_," the beat picked up as the Beastie Boys song continued. The people in the crowd were nodding their head and bouncing their shoulders to the beat yet all eyes were on Ted.

The dancer stood in the middle of the cardboard mat bouncing along. He stepped forward, then hopped back and alternated sides as his body got used to the beat. As he got more comfortable, his feet started moving faster and his legs twisting back and forth. Mulan's eyes widened as Ted reached down to support his weight on his forearms as he started twisting his legs up in the air. He bounced from his feet to his hands effortlessly. Ted swung his legs up and pulled his arms closer to his body as he spun on his back several times before catching himself back on his hands. Many onlookers, including Ruby, let out a loud, "Oooohhh!" at the spectacle. This went on and on for a while. Spinning, flaring, stepping, jumping. Mulan was entranced by it all.

Finally, Ted stood up with his arms crossed and the crowd cheered him. He looked to a young girl, perhaps about 16, who slapped his hand as she took his place on the cardboard floor. She whispered a few things to Ted who exchanged silver discs into the boom box before pressing play again. The beat started with drumbeats and high-pitched notes, and a couple of people cat-called to the choice of the song. "_Gucci Gucci, Louie Louie, Fendi Fendi, Prada. Basic bitches wear that shit so I don't even bother!_" At the start of the lyrics, the girl hurled herself onto her hands, supporting herself on her forearms. Being little had its advantages, as she didn't have much weight to support. Her strength was obvious; her legs twisted back and forth in the air while she swung her feet back and forth. Spinning her body on her hands, she kept moving her legs all around not once letting her lower body touch the ground. She held her legs high up in the air as she pressed her body up and extended her arms. She came down and landed on her feet with a twist, earning another cheer from the crowd.

Smiling, she slapped her hand with another guy, who was much older than her. He stepped a few times to the beat when suddenly his leg flew out from under him. Mulan's instant reaction was the help the fallen man, but she watched as he landed on his back and his body spun. Around and around he went in a never-ending circle. He pushed up and started spinning on his head. The crowd was yelling enthusiastically as he continued to spin on his head, on his back, on his shoulders, and he froze on his head with his legs contorted in a strangle angle in the air.

The sheriff's assistants and their partners applauded with the others. Intrigued, Mulan approached the young girl with amazing strength. "You are indeed skilled dancers! Would you mind showing me a few of those moves?"

The young girl, excited to be pointed out by the new stranger, gladly pulled Mulan on to the cardboard as the latter took off Emma's jacket and threw it into Ruby's waiting arms. Mulan picked up quickly and stepped her feet to the beat of a new song. Seeing the woman's enthusiasm, the young girl encouraged Mulan to lean back on her hands. She smiled when she saw Mulan's feet keep up with the instruction, twisting her body as her feet stepped over legs and travelling her body in a wide circle. The wide neck line of her shirt shifted down one shoulder, exposing the strap of her black tank top she wore underneath.

It all happened so fast. The warrior knew exactly what to do, as she had been expertly trained for battle. She spun her legs up in the air as her body twisted and she faced the ground catching herself on her hands. Spinning several times like a windmill, the beat and the cheers echoed in her ears, until she brought herself back up on her feet. She stood up proud as the lyrics blasted, "_This club so packed, these hoes so drunk. I got a bottle, got a model, got a molly, got a blunt."_ Suddenly, a body jumped on her with legs that wrapped around her waist.

Another shout of cheers was heard as Mulan, unable to detach her lips from the aroused Aurora, carried her back to the SUV. Ted approached Ruby and gave her a high five before pulling her in to a hug. "Your girl Mulan's got moves! Y'all should come around more often!"

Belle and Ruby laughed. "I think they're done for the night. Remember, keep the noise down or I'm afraid I'll have to send you guys home." She tapped on her badge. "I hate to be the big bad wolf, but I got a job to do." With a wink, she turned around and pulled Belle by the hand back to the car.

Still in amazement, Belle stared down to the ground. "I've read about Bboy culture but… what Mulan did was amazing! She picked it up so quickly! It must be her combat training."

"I think she's just that cool."

Due to the writhing bodies in the backseat, Belle walked around the car to sit in the front. She looked back at her friends, then to her partner. "Should we take them home?"

Grinning, Ruby said, "The patrol's almost done. We might as well finish the route." As she drove off, she turned the radio on as not to hear the moist sounds of mouths crashing against each other.

A few minutes later, the song changed to a slow beat with the sound of knocking. "Turn it up!" Mulan called out between heavy breaths. Surprised, Belle raised the volume as a voice slowly crooned, "_Girl, your legs keep shaking and I swear we're breaking our new headboard (headboard)."_

Aurora's soft voice whispered, "Oh, god… You know what Trey Songz does to me…"

The two in the front seats giggled, but turned the radio even louder. Ruby tried stealing glances in the rearview mirror but she wasn't able to see much in the dark backseat. Belle shook her head and looked back down, trying to continue reading on her phone. For some reason, the radio seemed to be on the occupied couple's side because the songs just kept getting racier and more subjective. During a Ludacris song, Ruby mouthed the lyrics and mimed a spanking motion on the steering wheel while lustily eyeing her girlfriend. Belle was having trouble reading her current e-book, and she found that she had been rereading the same paragraph at least 5 times. She frequently stole looks towards her partner, who seemed like she was struggling to stay on her side of the vehicle. The evening patrol ended up turning into a drive around Storybrooke, and Ruby, as distracted as she was, gave up and sped back to Granny's.

Pulling up to the large house, Ruby announced, "Okay! Everybody out!" Looking behind her, she saw her friends scrambling around trying to make themselves presentable. Belle hopped out and opened the back doors, allowing a very disheveled Aurora and a haughty-looking Mulan to descend. Without a word, the two playfully ran into the house and up to their room, where they no doubt continued where they had left off.

Ruby put an arm around her girlfriend and squeezed tight as they made their way to the door.

"I'm so glad I came along tonight," Belle confessed, putting her arm around Ruby's waist.

The she-wolf leaned over and kissed the top of Belle's head, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair. "You know, I am too. I really like Aurora and Mulan, and they seem to be adjusting well to life here. I'm glad we got to spend time with them together," she said proudly. Opening the door, she motioned for the other girl to enter the house before following.

Belle pulled Ruby close for a long kiss. "However, Deputy Lucas, it's time for you to give your patient girlfriend your undivided attention," she said teasingly. Belle pulled her lover up the stairs with an evocative stare and led her to their bedroom.

* * *

**A/N: My BFF is working on another crack fic for which I also beta, and she got me in the mood to make a soundtrack for this fic! Here's the song list for this chapter: "Push It" by Garbage, "Ch-Check It Out" by Beastie Boys, "Gucci Gucci" by Kreayshawn, "Ball" by T.I. with Lil Wayne, and "Neighbors Know My Name" by Trey Songz. They're not my songs, so I gotta give the credit where it's due.**


	4. The Early Wolf Catches the Bird

"_Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! There goes the baker with his tray like-_" The phone vibrated merrily on the nightstand.

"Hello…?" Ruby growled as she answered. "A what…? Huh…? How many…? No, I guess…. I do!... Okay, fine. I'll be there in a bit. Good bye." She pressed the "end" button angrily and jumped out of bed towards the bathroom. The sound of the shower was heard running.

"What was that all about?" Belle asked sleepily, still lying in the same position.

From the bathroom, the wolf-woman called out, "There's a situation at town hall. Mother Superior called."

"Oh, okay... And I don't sing like that…" Belle mumbled, as she faded back to sleep.

After her quick shower, Ruby pulled on a pair of jeans, a deep green bohemian shirt, her most comfortable black leather jacket and grey sneakers. She didn't have much time, so she merely ran the blow dryer through her hair until it was just slightly damp. Giving the slumbering Belle a quick kiss on the forehead, she ran out of the house and drove the sheriff's SUV to town hall.

While she drove, she wondered what the phone call was about. Mother Superior had called the sheriff's station, which forwarded to her cell phone thanks to Mulan's hacking, and there was something about chaos in front of town hall. She couldn't quite grasp what the other woman was saying, but she definitely understood, "What do you think Regina would say if you don't clean this up before she comes back?" Not one to argue with a nun, or her friend's powerful girlfriend, she shot out of bed to take care of whatever mess Mother Superior was babbling on about.

When she pulled up towards the large building, she saw exactly what the former Blue Fairy was worried about. In front of the building was a large flock of at least 30 wild turkeys. They were on the grass, on the walkways, in the hedges, on top of benches, and there were even a couple sitting on the doorsteps. They were scratching at the ground, pecking in the bushes, and just generally grazing the area. A few people were gathered on the sidewalk nearby, but they kept their distance from the wild animals.

As the part-time deputy stepped out of the SUV, Mother Superior swiftly approached. "Oh, Ruby! I thought you'd never get here! I was just taking my morning walk when I saw this disaster! I'm afraid they'll ruin the beautiful landscape! What are you going to do about this?" she asked expectantly.

For once, Ruby was at a loss for words. She stared back at the turkeys, which seemed to come from nowhere, feeling overwhelmed. Not returning Mother Superior's gaze, the she-wolf pulled her phone from her pocket and pressed the number on her speed dial. "Granny, I need that back up now," she whispered into the phone.

Not long after, Granny drove up to meet her granddaughter, with Belle tagging along. "Oh, ho! What have we got here?" the older woman laughed, taking in the scene.

Belle's face was full of surprise and concern. "Oh, goodness! How did this…?" she began, but a turkey slowly waddled its way towards the newcomers. Aware of wild turkeys' nervous tendencies, she slowly stepped behind her lover.

"Shoo!" Mother Superior hissed, in an attempt to save the frightened girl.

The approaching turkey gave a loud cluck of fear. The sound spread like wildfire throughout the flock. Ruby cringed her head in pain, the high-pitch sound screeching to her sensitive wolf-hearing.

Granny, too, winced at the sound. "Ruby, we've gotta work fast! You flank them from the east and I'll come at them from here. We'll drive them back towards the other side of town hall, into the woods!" she instructed.

Ruby ran along the perimeter of the great lawn, the turkeys retreating from the swift-moving figure. She reached the far side where a particularly large male was ruffling his feathers. Obviously, he didn't realize that he wasn't welcomed. The wolf-woman hunched over slightly, slowly approaching the turkey. "Hey! Move it, will ya!" she called out.

The turkey turned its head to look at the woman with its full eye, and let out a loud gobble in protest.

Ruby bent down, her right hand touching the ground and her left arm curled like claw under her. Allowing the inner wolf instinct to come forward, she let out a deep growl from her chest. This finally got the turkey's attention and it slowly backed away from her.

"That's it, Ruby!" Granny called encouragingly. It seemed that she knew exactly what she was doing when she had Ruby carry out her plan.

Growling again, Ruby started making her way quickly side to side along the lawn. Many of the turkeys started retreating, but the large male was the slowest to move. Slowly but surely, the turkeys allowed themselves to be herded back into the forest. Granny didn't do much besides shout some words of encouragement towards her granddaughter. Somehow, the large male slipped between Ruby and Granny.

Ruby started running on her hands and feet, her back rounded. She snarled loudly chasing after the turkey. It ran from her speedily across the lawn, zig-zagging to avoid capture while staying in front of the building, with the werewolf trailing it.

"Oh my dear goodness!" Mother Superior cried out. The large male started charging in her direction. The nun ran along the sidewalk, not wanting to cross the street in fear of oncoming traffic, and the turkey followed close behind. Ruby stopped a moment to catch her breath.

"Ruby! What do you think you're doing?" Granny asked, trying to motion Mother Superior to return in their direction.

Smirking, Ruby gasped, "Just.. trying… to catch… my breath…" She tried to suppress a chuckle, watching as the woman ran screaming from the pursing turkey.

When Mother Superior neared Ruby, the she-wolf charged back at the bird, allowing the nun to jump behind Granny for cover. It turned back around towards the town hall front doors. Ruby sprinted around in a wide circle, sliding on her feet across the lawn in front of the bird. She let out a series of loud yelps, baring her teeth. Finally, the turkey retreated along with its companions.

Once all of the turkeys were safely returned to the forest, Granny making her way through the edge to make sure Ruby's job was complete, the bystanders let out cheers and applause.

Granny clapped her hand against Ruby's back proudly. "That's my girl. See? You didn't even need me," she said beamed.

Ruby tried holding back her grin, but the look of pride in both Belle's and Granny's eyes boosted her self-confidence. "Well, all in a day's work, I guess," she said humbly. Other people approached the deputy to express their gratitude before getting on with the rest of their day.

Belle clutched Ruby's waist as the last of the crowd thinned. "You were fantastic," she murmured into her neck.

After giving her girlfriend a kiss, Ruby held her close. "Thanks. I'd hate to leave you, but I gotta go do my report on this. I might as well get started," she sighed, looking down at her watch. On a normal day, she wouldn't even been snoozing her alarm yet.

"Well," Belle smiled, "I can go with you and make sure it gets done." Swaying her hips as she walked towards the sheriff's vehicle, Belle turned her head back and flashed a sweet smile. Ruby hurried after her partner, anxious to get her paperwork done immediately.

* * *

Sunday morning came too quickly. After such a long day, Mulan hadn't received a lot of sleep, not that she was complaining. She stretched her arms above her head and pushed the button on the alarm clock. She cursed the invention, it was in reality a torture device, but she knew she needed to get up. Placing her arm around her still sleeping girlfriend and holding her close, Mulan relished the warm body beneath her before standing up into the chilly apartment. The one thing she was truly grateful for in the new world was hot showers. It cut her bathing time in half _and_ she didn't have to boil water to wait for warmth. Getting ready for the day was quick for her, since she had developed a system early.

From what the sheriff told her, Sundays were pretty casual. She threw on relaxed jeans and a light blue cowl-necked long sleeve shirt. She left her long straight hair down and simply brushed it until the tangles were out. The deputy stepped into white and black high-top sneakers and put on her precious aviator glasses before walking out the door.

Throwing Emma's red leather jacket around her body again, which she unintentionally took home with her, the warrior walked briskly to the sheriff's office. Unexpectedly, the door turned without resistance when she turned the key. Did they forget to lock the door last night? No, she remembered looking back at Ruby to make sure her colleague secured the bolt before their evening patrol. Making her way slowly, she entered the building.

A heavy beat pulsated through the short hallway as provocative lyrics echoed off the walls. "_They keep watchin', keep watchin'.… Gimme gimme moooore, gimme moooore…_." the woman's voice sang out. Between rhythms and lyrics were the sounds of moans and heavy breathing. Mulan made a mental note to look up the song later. A soft-accented voice, definitely not a part of the song, whimpered, "Don't you dare stop!"

Coming to the end of the hall and walking into the room, there was Belle sitting on the sheriff's desk with her arms straight behind her bare back. Looking closer, Mulan saw that the librarian was leaning on her hands, wrists held together by a pair of handcuffs. The deputy knew exactly whose arms were wrapped around the restrained girl's thighs, her dark-haired head buried deep between outstretched legs. Impressive, Mulan thought, she's still wearing her heels.

Mulan walked around to the front of her desk, leaning her butt against the edge and crossed her arms while she looked on. It was only fair, remembering the events of last night. It shouldn't have come to a surprise to her, but she was enjoying what she saw. To be honest, there was a time, long ago, when Mulan wondered what it would be like to have Belle in a similar situation.

Looking up with eyes closed, Belle gasped before groaning out her completion. After taking a few breaths to regain herself, the librarian tossed her head to the side looking back, her soft curls flying away to expose her face. "Hello, Mulan," she whispered invitingly.

Chuckling, the warrior waved at the girl and nodded her head up in salutation.

Ruby, attempting to hastily dress herself behind the cover of the desk, flung her head back as she stood up straight and turned off her iPod. "Hey, Mulan. Sorry. We heard you come in, but… you know," she said sheepishly, wiping her chin with her wrist.

Belle sprang up from the desk onto her feet and turned sideways. She leaned into Ruby giving her a deep, long kiss as her lover unlocked the handcuffs. "Thank you, my love," she sighed. Raising her arms above her head, she stretched and stuck her chest out as she slowly lowered her arms.

Cocking her head to the side, Mulan couldn't help but appreciate the view. "You know, I had always wondered what they looked like," she mumbled audibly. She intended for her friends to hear the comment, and waited for their reaction.

Ruby frowned at her friend while Belle gave a giggle and wink before hunting for her clothes.

"Did I not tell you, Ruby? The first time I met your dearest, she was wearing a leather bustier that hardly contained her breasts. It was very difficult to concentrate on our mission." Mulan held her hands out in front of her chest.

Belle's laughter rang out again. "I can't believe I wore that! I don't even remember where I found it!" She looked to her girlfriend, who didn't seem amused where the conversation was going.

Continuing, the warrior pointed to her leg, "You know, if I had not received a flesh wound, from saving Belle from a group of ruffians, I may have taken my chances with her."

Ruby slammed her hand down on the desk angrily, her body tensing.

Mulan pulled herself off of the table, raising her hands up in surrender. "Do not worry, Ruby. I pose no threat. I am glad I did not pursue Belle, for I would not have found my princess. She is my world, and that will never change." When the she-wolf saw the sincerity in her friend's eyes, she relaxed. The new deputy took her seat at her desk and started scrolling through her e-mail.

Now fully dressed, Belle stroked the waitress's hair. "Oh, Ruby. I love when you get jealous. That means you truly love me," said as she gave a quick kiss on the cheek. "Now you two behave, and be safe. Aurora and I are going to be spending the day together. We'll see you both later." She walked out, but not before giving Mulan a teasing punch in the shoulder.

"Well, now I say that we are even. From last night," Mulan announced, turning away from the computer.

Ruby returned from the bathroom where she had washed up, asking, "Last night doesn't even count! It was so dark I couldn't see anything!"

Solemnly, she replied, "It matters not. I do apologize for allowing myself to get out of control in front of others."

Shrugging, the other woman said, "Yeah, yeah. You know, this wasn't even my fault. It was Belle's idea." She walked over to the desk to try to replace the rearranged items. "Oh, shit!" she shouted. She held up a piece of paper, soaked with moisture, from the sheriff's desk. "Uh, do you think that's important?"

The form was completely filled out, signed and stamped "Sheriff Emma Swan, Storybrooke County." However, when Mulan read it over, she replied, "It is merely a purchase order for a new chair. I am sure it can be replaced. If it was really important, the sheriff would have submitted the request to the mayor's office." Gingerly taking the corner, she took it from Ruby's hand and threw it in the trash. "Now, Deputy," she stated, "I do believe you owe me a bear claw."

* * *

**A/N: Now I can't listen to 'Gimmie More' by Britney Spears without thinking about Belle. =D And, if you've been reading "The Shattered Looking Glass", you'll remember Emma wanting a new office chair. What will she do when she can't find the form on Monday?  
P.S. I don't ship Mulan/Belle (Warrior Beauty?), but I loved 'The Outsider' and especially Belle's outfit!**


	5. Breakfast is Happy to See You

Rolling up in the patrol car, Ruby parked directly in front of the donut shop. She didn't care where she parked, which was obvious since she parked across several spots. She was the law. The successful herding of the turkeys and her little stint with Belle in the office that morning was making her feel cocky. "Sup, ladies?" she said alluringly to a group of women walking out of the bakery, angling her chest so the deputy badge flashed in the sunlight.

The girls laughed, warmed up by the obvious flirting. One girl said, "Hi, Ruby…." hardly able to suppress her excited giggle. Another girl eyed Mulan, who raised her eyebrows behind her aviator glasses and gave a sideways smile in response. As the group ran off into the parking lot, they heard someone say, "Oh my gosh, that was so hot! Too bad they have girlfriends!"

Looking to her companion, Mulan asked, "Does that happen often?"

Smiling, Ruby said, "It does when you're with me." She held the door open for her friend.

The former soldier shook her head. "You know, you are positively glowing." As Mulan stepped into the donut shop, the warm, sweet smell of baked and fried pastries greeted them. Her stomach growled noticeably when she viewed the trays of goodies behind cased glass.

"Say, I smell bacon! Does anyone else smell bacon?" a voice called out.

"Yeah, I definitely smell a pork product of some type," another answered back.

Ruby spun around to find a group of teenagers sitting in a corner, laughing together. With heavy footsteps, she approached the table. "Yeah, yeah. Bacon, pig, oink oink, police officer…. Don't try to give me any of that!" she threatened.

A strong hand gripped the wolf's upper arm. "No, I too smell the smokey aroma of frying pork belly," Mulan muttered. She lifted her head into the air and inhaled deeply through her nose.

Hitting her forehead with her palm, Ruby was surprised she didn't catch the scent earlier. It was definitely bacon.

The shop owner caught her eye excitedly. "Ruby! I did not see you come in! I have a new creation for you to try," he exclaimed as he handed the waitress half of a donut. He handed the other half to Mulan saying, "And for you, Deputy!"

Sniffing the morsel, Ruby's eyes lit up before ravenously tearing a piece of the pastry into her mouth. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she relished the taste and moaned loudly. "Oh… my… goodness…. You _have_ to start delivering this to Granny's!"

"What is it?" the other asked uncertainly.

"It's an orgasm for your mouth!" Ruby sighed again, taking another giant bite.

Deciding against embarrassing Ruby by bringing up the morning's events, she sampled the donut. An explosion of flavors burst in her mouth. It was sweet and savory, smoky and rich. She couldn't hold back the whine of pleasure. "What is this sorcery?!" she questioned.

Beaming, the man behind the counter looked happily upon his two customers. "That, my friends, is a bacon Nutella donut, drizzled in a Canadian maple glaze and topped with smoked almonds."

Her mouth still full, Ruby mumbled, "We'll take two."

"And a bear claw," Mulan added.

"And a bear claw, a jelly donut, and two mochas. 1% for me, and soy for my friend."

The donut baker set to work quickly while Ruby pulled out some bills to pay for their delightfully unhealthy breakfast. Taking the bag of donuts and receiving their drinks, the two took a table outside to enjoy their food.

The hot mocha in Mulan's hand steamed through the drink hole, tempting the woman in but she first looked to her friend for clarification. "What is a mocha? Emma gave me a hot cocoa a few days ago. Still, this beverage smells wonderful," she questioned.

Sipping the jelly from her donut with a straw, Ruby replied, "It's pretty much coffee with chocolate in it. Try it." As if to demonstrate to her companion, she took a sip of her own drink. "Ooh, that's good. Almost as good as mine."

Following the wolf-woman's example, Mulan sipped the beverage. She closed her eyes. It was almost too much, the joys that this world provided. Contentedly, Mulan consumed her two treats accompanied by her mocha.

* * *

After their breakfast of champions, the deputies drove along the patrol route. It was calm and quiet around town, until Mulan suddenly yelled, "Stop!"

Ruby slammed on the brakes and looked around frantically. "What's wrong?!"

"Parking violation," Mulan grunted menacingly. She signaled for Ruby to slowly back up the car until they were side by side with the car in question. After flipping the switch to activate the rooftop lights, the deputy put on her aviator glasses and opened the door.

"Wait, Mulan, what are you doing?" Ruby asked.

Looking back at her companion with the gravest of expressions, the soldier said, "This car is parked illegally." She stepped out into the street to face the car. It was an older burnt orange BMW coupe, but it was taken care of well. Mulan walked along the length a few times before stopping to face the car's front. "You wanna do this the hard way? We can play that game or you can be obedient," she threatened.

"Jesus-effing-Christ... Guess I'll just play along," the she-wolf sighed as she made her way next to her partner. Folding her arms and giving the car an exasperated look, she said "Look, just listen to her and it'll be over with quickly."

The pair stared for a while. Ruby chanced a look at the other girl, but Mulan's eyes were focused. "The silent type, eh? Well, I have got ways of making you talk..." she threatened. Mulan reached down and pulled her pant leg up to pull a dagger from the calf holster. After spinning it a couple times in her hand, she placed it on the hood.

Startled, Ruby pulled Mulan aside. "Let me talk to it," she whispered. After giving the car another dirty look, she stepped to the side. Ruby, having a beautiful classic car herself, was starting to feel bad for the BMW. She patted the hood gently. "You look like a nice car, and I don't want to see anything bad happen. But, our hands are tied. You're parked in front of a fire hydrant. Just cooperate, and no one needs to get hurt," she said.

Mulan had been standing behind her friend, arms crossed impatiently. She took a few steps closer, pushing a finger into the hood. "I do not even have a car! I have a horse. A _HORSE_! Does that make me a better person?! Right now, it sure as hell makes me feel like one! You make me sick..." She leaned over and put her hand to the top of the car's antenna, bending it back several inches. Threatening, the warrior growled, "Do you hear me?! Is this how you treat all of the other parking spots? I do not know what you think you are playing at but you can be sure this is the last time. You are going away for a long time..."

Ruby shrugged. "Well, we can't really impound it. We'll just write a ticket, and the owner will pay the fine. It'll be back out on the street in no time."

This set Mulan into another period of pacing along the car, her forehead creased in thought. Ruby could see a vein in her forehead throbbing, and with her wolf-hearing could hear the rapid beating of an adrenaline-fueled heart. It happened before Ruby could stop her. With a yell, Mulan rushed at the car, kicking the hell out of the front tire. "Do you think that is funny?" she huffed, "You think you can just get away with this? I will get you!"

The scene had attracted few people. Being a lazy Sunday, the sight of two sheriff deputies apparently arguing with a parked car, and then one of them starting to beat the tire, was definitely going to draw a crowd. Archie happened to be taking Pongo for a walk on the other side of the street. He remembered the new deputy's over-enthusiasm on the job. He mumbled to himself, "I may have to see about getting Mulan into my office soon..."

Out of a nearby shop, a very disgruntled-looking Sydney came rushing out. Ruby took hold of Mulan's arms pulling her back, the latter still trying to kick at the car even after she was pulled out of reach. "Excuse me! What do you think you're doing?" he asked angrily.

Standing up straight, Mulan moved the jacket away from her hip, flashing her badge. "Sir, you are parked in front of a fire hydrant," she informed the man.

"What? Oh my gosh! I didn't even see that!" The shock on his face was apparent, proving that he had not meant it on purpose.

It didn't stop the deputy from looking disgusted. "Really?! Ugh, I cannot even look at you. Days like this, I hate my job..." she mumbled. After taking the dagger from the hood and spinning it back into the sheath, Mulan walked back to the police car to write the ticket.

Ruby looked at the man apologetically. "I'm sorry... She's new. But she's right. There's not much we can do. We gotta write it up." She gave him a weak smile, but it was unseen by his downcast eyes.

A few minutes later, Mulan returned to the group and shoved the ticket hard into Sydney's chest. "Now, get out of here! The next time that you roll a stop sign, park too far from the curb, change lanes without signaling... I WILL be watching you," warned the deputy. Taking in a deep breath and snorting, she spit right onto the headlight. Sydney's face was frozen in shock.

"Nice shot," Ruby admitted.

Mulan grunted slightly. "I have had practice. You should have seen the first time I tried that," she replied. She went back to the car and got in. The sound of the door slamming against resistance was heard a few times. Ruby looked back at Mulan, who was having difficulty closing the car door. It opened slightly as Mulan pulled the seatbelt buckle back in, and then she finally gave the door a proper slam. Ruby glanced at Sydney again before getting in the car to drive away.

* * *

**A/N: I'm a bad Asian and I don't know math... I miss calculated my BFF's timeline. In 'The Shattered Looking Glass', the Swan-Mills and Charming family vacation (chapter 7) takes places mostly through Saturday. This chapter takes place during the very last little bit of Sunday. The family comes home fairly quickly, but don't worry! Our favorite deputies will still have plenty of shenanigans!**

**And, if we're lucky, I may end up extending this story beyond the weekend. They're just too fun to write. I hope you enjoy it! Please review!**


	6. Manly Urges

**A/N: Despite what you feel about guns, they are an obvious weapon used in US law enforcement. I decided that Granny, being the bad ass she is, would teach our deputies herself. I do not necessarily endorse gun use, but I do encourage responsibility to those who do! That is my disclaimer. Still, I hope you enjoy the chapter and see the fun and silliness they have.**

* * *

Lunch time rolled around again, and the pair beat the familiar path to Granny's. They took a seat at a booth, and were greeted by a sight they didn't expect.

"Carol! What are you doing here? I thought Aurora was supposed to be working today!" Ruby said to the waitress that approached their table to set drinks in front of the two newcomers.

Mulan shook her head. "No, she has the day off. Do you not remember? Our lady-friends are spending some quality time together," Mulan replied.

Confused, Ruby said, "Oh… Well, where's Granny?" She looked around, surprised that her grandmother was nowhere to be seen.

"Thanks for reminding me!" the waitress said. She fished through her apron and gave Ruby an envelope. "I'll go get your food," she replied. Ruby opened her mouth in retort, but Carol had walked away before Ruby could make a sound.

Curious, the young woman opened the envelope that was addressed to her. It was from Granny, saying:

"Ruby,  
I've taken the liberty of arranging your lunch for both you and Mulan. You two need to 'man up' for what I've got planned for you later. When you're done, meet me by the river. See you soon, deputy!  
Love,  
Granny"

"What does it say?" her companion asked.

Ruby read the letter aloud. "I don't know what it means, but I guess we know what we're doing after lunch."

"What about afternoon patrol?"

The she-wolf laughed, "Oh, come on, Mulan. It's Sunday. If anything bad goes down, the dispatcher will call us."

Carol the waitress returned shortly with two fat, juicy steaks and roasted vegetables. The two girls' eyes widened with surprise and greedy hunger as they examined their lunch. "Enjoy!" the waitress chimed, taking pleasure in their happily startled expressions.

"Oh, man! These are serious steaks! We don't usually keep these cuts around!" Ruby gasped excitedly.

Mulan's steak appeared to be perfectly cooked just the way she liked it, which she attributed to Aurora's impeccable attention to whatever she liked. Glancing over to Ruby's plate, she saw a bright pool of pink-red blood ooze from the spot where her friend had begun to cut in. "Um, yours seems to be mooing at me," Mulan complained.

Shoving a large piece of flesh in her mouth, the wolf-woman replied, "I'm sorry. I like mine pretty rare. It's getting close to wolfstime."

"I have a pad if you want to soak up the extra blood," the soldier replied.

Ruby hit her head with her palm, groaning, "Ugh! I almost regret having to have that conversation with you guys. Can't I just enjoy my meal in peace?"

Her friend shrugged and dug in to her own plate. They ate the rest of their meal in piece, with the mindset of, "Don't bother me, I'm eating." Mulan was impressed with the cut of meat she was served, and the compliment of simple yet flavorful roasted root vegetables.

In no time, the women demolished their meal. Ruby leaned back merrily patting her full stomach. Mulan was playing with a toothpick in her mouth. They sat in the booth for a while, allowing their food to digest. It wouldn't do well to participate in whatever Granny had planned with bloated bellies. Taking their time, Ruby and Mulan talked, mostly with the she-wolf trying to get Mulan to loosen up more. Eventually, the heaviness of their meal waned and the deputies made their way out of the diner to see what Granny had in store for them.

* * *

The river flowed gently and contentedly as the two deputies drove up to the banks. Ruby knew exactly where to go, because Granny and she had a favorite spot where they'd often visit together. Seeing Granny's car parked parallel close to the water, Ruby parked the car farther away.

Looking up from digging through the trunk of her car, Granny waved towards her granddaughter and her friend. She looked behind her and called out again. To the girls' surprise, their girlfriends came rushing over towards their partners as they exited the car.

"Belle!" Ruby called out, embracing her love.

At the same time, Mulan cried, "Aurora! I did not expect to see you here!"

Belle smiled guiltily as the group made their way to meet Granny. "Well, we _did_ have other plans, but Granny called us up asking for help. We couldn't very well turn her down, could we?"

The waitress smiled in understanding, knowing exactly what Belle meant. Granny was a willful woman, and she pretty much got what she wanted. She was surprised that, during the curse, she got away with that much sass towards her grandmother.

"My girls!" Granny smiled. At that moment, she swung out a shotgun one with one arm and a semi-automatic handgun in the other hand. "What took you so long?" she asked happily.

Both Mulan and Ruby stopped dead in their tracks, looking confusedly back and forth between the weapons and Granny multiple times. "Oh. My. God. Granny! Where did you get all of this?" Ruby asked once the breath was released from her chest. As they approached, the saw the veritable armory in her trunk. There was at least another shotgun, a rifle, many assorted handguns, and bow and arrow, naturally her trusty crossbow and enough ammunition for them to survive a zombie apocalypse.

"Don't worry," Granny reassured, handing the girls the weapons, the handgun to Ruby and the shotgun to Mulan. Leaning into the corner of the trunk, she pulled out a file and held it up. "I've got all the proper documentation. And you've never known about this because it's safely and securely hidden. You wouldn't even be able to sniff out the location if you tried," she said proudly to her granddaughter. "But that's not why I brought you two out here. It's obvious that the sheriff hasn't properly trained you in weapons, not that she would know much herself. So I'm taking it into my own hands. Your girlfriends have graciously volunteered-"

Aurora and Belle's laughter could be heard from the distance they were standing, where they were resuming their work. Apparently, Aurora had made a snarky comment that only Belle could hear.

"Ahem, these lovely ladies have been helping me set up all morning. I even showed them how to fire off a few rounds. I still prefer my crossbow to guns, but you never know when you'll need this knowledge. Hopefully, you won't." Granny went on to teach them about the different weapons, weapon safety, and how to hold and fire them. Naturally, Belle chimed in every once in a while with her bits of knowledge as well.

After their brief lesson, Granny asked, "So? Who wants to go first?"

Mulan stepped forward, stomping her heels together in a militant stance. "I volunteer as tribute!" she announced.

Ruby stifled a laugh, but Granny smiled gleefully. "I was hoping it would be you…" she commented. She called to the other ladies, who didn't notice that their attention was being sought. After yelling their names several times, Granny fired a shot into the air.

Belle's looked back, dropping sticks to the ground that she was trying to shove into a log as arms.

Aurora pouted, "But I wanted to make a pretty sun!"

"Girls, this isn't art class! Get your fannies back here!" Granny called out.

Finally, Aurora and Belle returned to the others and took seats on an old log. "Okay, Mulan. The shotgun's gonna give some kickback, but I know you're strong and you can handle it. Just gently squeeze and aim for one of those targets," she instructed, pointing off into the distance.

Mulan looked about 50 yards away along the riverbank and saw a makeshift stand made out of old branches. Standing on the horizontal bar were several logs of wood. Some had painted circles, others had stars, and she thought she saw at least one smiley face. On the ground near the stand was a pile of similar looking logs with various other shapes on them. It seemed that the girls enjoyed their chore of painting targets. A few feet next to the stand was a large bale of hay with a circular target on it. The soldier knew what that target was for, and itched to use the bow and arrow. However, she needed to obey her master and learn how to utilize the firearm.

Aiming for the center target, she clicked the safety and pulled the trigger. The log flew back with forceful thud, and the two targets on either side turned slightly inward. The others cheered in appreciation, though she thought she heard Ruby grumble, "Beginner's luck, I tell you…."

As the echo of the shot died down, she heard a sound of a different kind. It was… music? The deputy spun around to see Granny and Ruby bouncing their heads along to the guitar licks. Aurora and Belle were tapping their feet. Shrugging, the soldier held the shotgun up again, firing off another round.

"_Oooooooh, we're halfway there…_" Ruby and Granny sang out.

"_Wooooooaaaaah! Livin' on a prayer!_" Belle and Ruby sang in response.

Mulan grinned into the shotgun. She knew this song. The infectious beats and the adrenaline from shooting the gun were intoxicating. She continued firing, listening to her friends sing along to the rock song until she was out.

"_You live for the fight when it's all that you've got!_" the soldier sang along when she had emptied her weapon. They all sang and air guitared goofily until the song was done. It wasn't until they all recollected themselves from laughter did they see Mulan had knocked down 6 targets out of her 8 shots.

Returning to the vehicle and placing the shotgun back into Granny's trunk, she beamed to her coworker. "That was fun," she sighed.

Ruby shrugged. "Bon Jovi is always fun. Now, it's my turn," she threatened, giving her friend a friendly glare. She noticed Mulan's eyebrows raise, as if to contemplate the challenge. "Don't worry. I've never shot a gun. No bets today," she laughed.

When the girls returned from replacing the targets on the stand, Aurora giving Mulan an affectionate kiss, Ruby took her place in front of the targets. Granny gave her another speech about her specific weapon before she started firing. It was a little more difficult to hit the targets, due to the single bullet as opposed to the shotgun shells. Granny's classic rock playlist didn't help. She found herself singing along to the Guns n Roses song instead of focusing, and her grandmother reprimanded her a few times because of it. Still, she was able to hit quite a few logs before her magazine was emptied.

Mulan and Ruby took multiple turns learning the different kinds of guns. Finally, Mulan got her hands on the bow and arrow. Her trained hands caressed the familiar weapon fondly, anxious to show off her skills.

"Oh, it's like _that_?" Ruby said ominously. "I was fine just having a day learning how to shoot guns with my buddy, but you had to go and pull out the bow and arrow…" But her mood changed suddenly when she heard a piano playing sweetly accompanied by a synthesizer coming from Granny's stereo. Turning, she faced her grandmother in astonishment, "Wait, what? You go from Queen to Peter Cetera?"

The older lady shrugged. "What? I love _The Karate Kid Part 2_," she confessed.

The love ballad seemed to soften the she-wolf's temper as she laughed. They took turns shooting the arrows into the straw, seeing that they were of equal skill. Even Aurora proved to be a capable archer. Though Belle had read all about archery, she needed Ruby's help in the actual practice of shooting a bow. When Granny noticed the girls starting to get a little too cozy trying to learn the proper stance during Aerosmith, she decided to call it a day.

"I hoped you learned a lot, but I've got to get all this put away before heading to the diner for Sunday dinner. Now, everybody pack up!" Once everything was packed and cleaned, Aurora making sure to pick up every bullet casing so as not to endanger the local animals, the group separated.

As Ruby drove back into town, she was chuckling to herself.

"What do you find so amusing?" Mulan asked, wanting to be in on the joke.

She turned to her friend, eyes full of mischief. "We should challenge Charming to a shoot off. He'll piss himself when we beat him!"

The other smiled greedily, feeding off of her companion's competitiveness. "He will not know what hit him," she snarled.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I swear I had this written before 2x18 where Mary Margaret was shooting her bow and arrow to Joan Jett...  
I had a lot more songs on Granny's playlist than I was able to mention, but here's what we know was on it: Bon Jovi - Livin' On a Prayer, Guns N' Roses - Welcome to the Jungle, Queen - Headlong, Peter Cetera - Glory of Love, and Aerosmith - Crazy.**

**We're almost done with the weekend! Please review!**


	7. Little Drift Show on the Road

Ruby and Mulan took their evening patrol a little early, since they ditched the afternoon one. It was still quiet around town. Ruby silently thanked the universe for avoiding anything that would cause Mulan to get crazy about. True, patrols seemed to be more interesting with the new deputy around, but Ruby had something else in mind for them that evening.

After locking up at the station, Ruby said, "I hope you're not busy, because I have one more surprise for you tonight."

Mulan raised an eyebrow at the comment. "I do not have any pressing matters to attend to, although I should check with Aurora. She may be expecting me soon."

They got to the house and the two women parted to their own rooms. To Mulan's surprise, her little apartment was empty. She rushed to meet her friend, sick with worry.

"Ruby! Aurora is-!" she cried out when she opened the door. However, she was greeted by the sounds of laughter. Belle and Aurora were sitting on the floor in front of the couch giggling, with several wine bottles surrounding them.

"Oh, my Mulan!" Aurora shouted as she set her glass down, unsteadily getting to her feet. Her lover rushed to her side to help her up. The princess threw her arms around Mulan's neck giving her a tight squeeze. She whispered gently into her ear, "I was just telling Belle about your magical hands." Taking hold of Mulan's wrist, she brought her arm up and started kissing the fingertips gently. Belle's laughter was heard from behind Aurora.

A slight pink tinge appeared on the warrior's face as she pulled away. "Um, I am glad to find you safe here with Belle," she said, ignoring her girlfriend's drunken ramblings. "Since you are spending time with our friend, Ruby said she would like to take me somewhere tonight. Would that be all right with you, Princess?" she asked sweetly.

Aurora leaned up to plant a tender kiss. "You can do whatever you want," she sighed suggestively.

Ruby walked out of her room, smirking and holding a large coin purse. "Now that you have permission, are you ready to go?"

Helping Aurora back to her spot next to Belle, Mulan answered, "Yes. Where are we going?"

Ruby smiled, "I'm going to teach you how to drive."

* * *

Pulling up to a small building, Mulan said, "This is not what I was expecting."

Ruby let out a soft laugh. "I'm sorry, but you're not learning in _my_ car. It was wrecked once before. And I love Ashley and everything, but it took forever to finally get my baby back up and running. I'm not teaching you in a real car. This is the arcade."

"Arcade?"

Ruby didn't respond as she opened the door. She strolled in with her head held high, swinging the bag of quarters as she strut in.

"R-Ruby! Welcome back!" said the old man sitting near the door, his eyes wide with anxious enthusiasm.

Besides the sounds of beeps, synthesizer music and sound effects, the murmur of voices fell silent as everyone looked up to see Ruby walk in. As she passed, people backed away and averted their eyes. She roamed her eyes around until she saw what she was looking for.

A teen, seeing Ruby approach, fell out of the seat trying to scramble out of the way.

"Thanks, kid," Ruby said and she threw the coin purse on the newly vacated seat.

Mulan followed trepidatiously, seeing the crowd's hushed awe. "Why do the people cower in fear from you?" However, Ruby didn't need to answer. Just then, the monitor in front of them flashed the high score screen in which the initials 'RBY' dominated. She looked around to other screens, and saw a similar sight. Almost all of the machines' high score screens were full of her initials.

"This is the ONLY realm in which neither Regina nor Snow is Queen," she sneered. She held her hand towards the other seat, motioning Mulan to sit. Mulan sat down next to her friend, who sat in the partnering seat. "Just watch me for now, then I'll teach you how to play," Ruby said, pulling a small card out of her wallet. She placed it in the machine, and inserted several quarters.

"_Initaaaaal… D!"_ the computerized voice announced. Moving too quick for Mulan's eyes to follow, Ruby picked her car, track, and music. The she-wolf flashed Mulan a smile as she revved the virtual car's engine. "GO!" appeared on the screen and Ruby's red Nissan Skyline flew. The warrior watched in wonder. Ruby's left hand furiously slammed the gear shift up and down, and her right hand pulled the steering wheel back and forth. Tires squealed as the car drifted through sharp turns. Once the race was over, the screen said "NEW RECORD" and Ruby entered the initials "RBY".

Mulan gave an audible gulp. "I do not think I can do this," she said, frightened.

"It's not that hard! Okay, look on the floor. The right pedal is the gas, which makes you go. The one on the left is for the brakes, which makes you stop. The steering wheel," Ruby turned it side to side, "turns the car. We'll start on an easy track. And don't worry about the gear shift."

Ruby inserted another set of quarters for both her friend and herself, and then helped Mulan pick a car. She went with a white Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution. After choosing the easiest track, the screen displayed the two cars side by side and a countdown. "GO!" flashed on the screen, and Ruby's car peeled out.

"Ruby! What do I do?" Mulan called out in a panic, her car still sitting at the starting line.

"Press the gas!"

Mulan slammed her foot down on the car, which shot straight out and hit the side barrier.

"Turn the wheel!" Ruby instructed, trying to focus on her own car.

Grabbing the steering wheel and turning it sharply to the left, the Lancer hit the other side of the road. She turned the wheel hard to the right, hitting the other side. Mulan kept turning back and forth, the car bouncing in the road. "This machine is broken! My car will not drive straight!"

The wolf-woman reached over and held the wheel for her friend. "Hold it straight. Turn the wheel in the direction WITH the road." She held her hand on the wheel, turning Mulan's wheel slightly with the small curves of the road. At the same time, she was turning her own wheel with her left hand.

"Woah! Ruby really CAN do it all!" a voice said behind her. A few voices murmured in agreement. It seemed a crowd had formed around the legendary gamer.

"Put your hands on the wheel and feel what I'm doing," Ruby commanded.

Mulan did as she was told. She grinned foolishly as Ruby let go and she saw her car moving along with the road. Still, her car was hitting the sides but not as drastically as before. "Ruby! Look! I am driving!" she said proudly. Yet, too soon, the race ended and "YOU LOSE!" came across Mulan's monitor. "These words mock me," she scowled.

While entering a new set of initials, Ruby laughed, "It's only a game! You're beginner's luck was bound to run out some time." Mulan frowned at her companion. "Let's do another one!" Ruby suggested, and that seemed to lift Mulan's spirits. The wolf-woman helped Mulan buy her own personalized Initial D racing card, then they started another game.

The more games they played, Ruby explained more about the subtle nuances of driving, such as learning when to accelerate and when to brake, and of course not to slam on the gas. "In a real car, you're just going to lightly tap on the pedals," she reminded.

"Why does your car scream while you drive? Does it not approve of your technique? Still, you are able to maintain your position as highest score," Mulan observed.

"It's called drifting. I can teach you," Ruby started.

Driving proved to be a more difficult concept for Mulan to get. It seemed the more Ruby pushed and instructed, the worse her driving seemed to get. A couple of times, the white car spun around backwards.

She unsheathed her dagger. "I will vanquish my enemy!" she announced and held the weapon high over her head.

"NO!" Ruby cried, swatting the blade to the ground. "Maybe drifting is too hard. Just focus on driving."

Grumbling, Mulan picked up the dagger and replaced it in her calf-holster. She crossed her arms, and leaned back on the seat. "I do not want to drive anymore," she pouted.

Ruby started another game while the disgruntled warrior sat back and watched. Now that she had learned the basics, and her temper was starting to die down, she followed Ruby's movements with her eyes. Raising an eye brow, Mulan said, "I think I want another turn, Ruby."

"Are you sure? If you're not good, I'll have to send you back there with the other boys," Ruby warned, motioning to the throng of gamers watching the pair.

"I shall behave…" Mulan bent her head down in shame.

"Say you're sorry."

"But I-!"

"Mulan, apologize!"

The soldier huffed and looked away. "I am sorry," she mumbled.

"For…" Ruby encouraged.

"For trying to stab you…" The warrior glanced up to the machine.

Ruby smiled. "That's better." She inserted more coins for them. She was about to choose an easier track, but Mulan stopped her. "Are you sure you're ready for a harder one?" Ruby asked.

Gulping, she said, "I think so."

As soon as "GO!" came on the screen again, the two women raced their cars out. The first couple of turns, Mulan took normally. Coming up on a big curve, she mimicked Ruby's movements and the white car let out a loud screech as it travelled sideways. Once the road straightened out, Mulan adjusted the car and resumed the course.

"You did it!" Ruby said, abandoning her own game and shaking her friend violently.

The Mitsubishi slammed into the side of the road again, as Mulan raised her arms in the air triumphantly. "I did it!"

The game ended prematurely since both women ignored the rest of the race giving each other high fives. When Ruby turned back to her console, she saw a small face close to the steering wheel. "What the hell?!" she cried out, jumping back.

"Ruby?" the little voice asked.

The wolf-woman smiled down. A boy, no more than about six-years old, was looking up at her. "Oh, yeah. Hi. What's up, buddy?" she asked.

"Can I PLEASE have a turn? I only have four quarters left before I have to go home and I really want to play this game but I don't want to play against you because you're gonna beat me because you're so good but this is one of my favorite games and my mom said you're so nice that you might let me play," he pouted, lifting his giant brown eyes up at her.

She clutched at her heart. "Of course! My friend Mulan won't mind playing against you!"

Mulan conceded, "My skills are still very raw. It is no problem for me to play with the child."

The little boy grinned widely. Ruby surrendered her place to him. Out of his pocket, he pulled out his own card and put it in the machine. Both players inserted their coins, and they picked the track Mulan had just previously played.

The opposing blue car pulled ahead of Mulan quickly. The sound of screeching dominated the speakers as the little boy took the turns expertly. His car wasn't even visible on Mulan's screen, he had advanced so far ahead of the older woman.

Ruby's eyes widened as she watched the little boy. He was sitting on the edge of the seat, his feet seemingly barely able to reach the pedals. His head didn't even clear the steering wheel! The boy periodically glanced over at Mulan, but his car still traveled on the road perfectly. About a minute later, the boy finished the track while Mulan was still several turns away.

"Thanks, Ruby!" the boy said happily, climbing down from the seat.

Mulan leaned forward, hitting her head against the steering wheel. "I was bested by a child…" she said miserably.

Ruby, still in shock over what happened, put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Let's play Dynasty Warriors. I think that's a game you'll really like."

Dynasty Warriors was a welcome distraction for the soldier. Because the story takes place in ancient China, Mulan found it appealing, though she was able to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Since it was a button-masher, she found a lot of enjoyment and release of her frustration in the game.

Eventually, she returned to the driving game. Ruby sat a little more patiently, and she was able to teach Mulan how to drift at a novice level. She was glad that her new friend seemed to have calmed down.

"You might be ready to learn behind a REAL car!" Ruby joked.

Mulan tried to hide her smile through her hard face. "We shall see. Perhaps the sheriff would feel more comfortable in an actual car, though thanks to you I may have the confidence to start."

Their stay in the arcade didn't last much longer. The manager announced that the arcade was closing, and the deputies made their exit. The rest of the crowd bowed their heads in respect as Ruby left, treating her like royalty. Mulan sniggered at the sight but didn't want to ruin her friend's moment of pride.

When they got back home, they found their girlfriends asleep on the floor in Ruby's small living room. There were even more bottles scattered around them.

Mulan thanked her friend for the evening, and after helping clean up, she carried Aurora back to their room. Mulan changed Aurora's clothes, during which her lover whispered, "Oh, Mulan. You're my hero." The woman smiled, and placed a soft kiss on her girlfriend's lips.

Sitting up on her side of the bed, the warrior took out her laptop. As she listened to the sounds of her princess's deep breathing, Mulan typed out a report for the sheriff for the next morning before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: So we've officially reached the end of Emma's first weekend away from the Sheriff's office, and Mulan's first weekend as a sheriff's deputy. I really hope you enjoyed Mulan and Ruby's silly adventures. Please review! And don't forget to read "The Shattered Looking Glass"!**

**P.S. Don't worry, this isn't the end. I have a lot more stories for them in this AU. Tune in next week for a new set of adventures!**


	8. Caring for the Queen's Treasure, part 1

**A/N: I *really* hope you folks have been reading "The Shattered Looking Glass"! If you haven't, you won't know Alice!  
Alice is basically a little orphan girl that was found on the side of the road. As sheriff, Emma brought her home. She and Regina have been taking care of her while, and she's quickly become a part of their family.**

**This story doesn't necessarily coincide with the current SLG timeline, though it does take place in its AU. Again, none of the characters are mine. Not even Alice, who may or may not be the one from Wonderland. ;)****  
**

* * *

"Now, are you sure you have everything?" Regina asked tentatively. The uneasiness on her face was a rare sight.

Belle nodded as she placed her arm around Alice, who was clutching her beloved stuffed white rabbit. "Of course, Regina. Don't you worry about a thing. Mulan's on our speed dial in case of any emergencies. You've already approved of the dinner that Ruby is going to cook for us. We have the kids' bag of extra clothes. Now, go on! It's only for a few hours! Enjoy yourselves!" she urged.

The sheriff pulled on Regina's coat sleeve, and the latter spun around and glared. Emma gulped. "I'm sorry, babe. But we've got to go. We'll be late for our reservations!" she said. She was already on the porch, trying to lead her partner away.

Regina rushed to her children, giving each a big hug and kiss on the forehead. Henry groaned, "Come on, Mom. Not in front of Ruby…"

Ruby let out a laugh. "It's okay, Henry. Granny still kisses me on the forehead when I'm about to leave. In front of the whole diner," she reassured him. With a final wave, the two women got into the vintage Mercedes and drove away.

The little group turned around and walked into the house, headed for the kitchen. Ruby wanted to get started on dinner for them, so Belle took charge of entertaining the kids at the table while they waited.

"So, what do you want to do?" she asked. She had several things planned, but she knew the best thing would be to let them decide for themselves.

Henry took out his Nintendo 3DS from his backpack and started playing it without a second thought. Looking to Alice, Belle hoped for more interaction.

The little blonde looked up at Belle. It seemed that she was the one looking for guidance from the older woman. Sensing the girl's hesitation, Belle suggested, "So, Alice, I found this cookbook with loads of yummy recipes. How about you and I bake a cake?"

Alice's eyes lit up. She had helped Regina many times in the kitchen, but she had never baked a cake before. "What flavor?" she asked.

"Red velvet," the brunette smiled. She walked over to the counter where she had left the cookbook and returned it to the table. The two looked over the recipe and decided that it wasn't too difficult to try. On their end of the dining table, they started collecting the supplies. Since Alice wasn't too familiar with the kitchen, she gladly took the ingredients and supplies from Belle, and organized them on the table.

"Hey, Ruby! Can I use your laptop?" Henry called. He was obviously bored with his game, which he stowed back into his bag. Eyeing the woman's laptop on the counter, he figured he had found a new source of entertainment.

"Sure," she shrugged, turning back to the stovetop. It wasn't the first time he played on her laptop, but she felt grateful that he still asked for permission. He may be Emma's son, but Regina obviously taught him manners.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, Belle was trying to teach Alice how to sift flour. They both wore aprons, though the one Alice wore seemed more like a dress. The librarian had tried to tuck it in a few places, but it was still very large on her.

The girl held the sifter while Belle poured some flour. She squeezed the handle with two hands, but the force of her grip made the sifter move as flour spilled onto the table. Alice's first instinct was to wince, bracing herself for a barrage of screaming. Instead, Belle let out a soft laugh. "That's okay, Alice. I'll hold the sifter steady and you keep squeezing." Together, they sifted. She was so proud of herself. Belle supervised Alice measure out the rest of the dry ingredients.

The wet ingredients were a little more difficult. Turning her nose up at the smell, Alice insisted that Belle pour the vinegar and buttermilk. If she hadn't already measured cocoa powder into the mix, she didn't think she'd like the cake. But Belle reassured her that red velvet was delicious. The older woman was so wise and understood Alice so well. The girl decided that, outside of her family, Belle was her best adult friend.

When Alice put the red food coloring into the mixture, she became fascinated with the layers of different liquids together. She mixed slowly in one direction, then in another direction, watching the colors swirl around each other. Belle encouraged her, watching the girl's face light up at the artistry.

Once the batter was all mixed, thanks to Alice's delight, Belle did something the girl had never seen. She dipped her finger into the batter and licked it. "Mmm! This is going to be wonderful!" The older woman pointed to the batter, encouraging Alice to do the same.

Regina never sampled raw batter when they had baked before, so Alice dipped a tentative finger against the side of the bowl. She closed her eyes and softly touched her finger to her tongue. "Ooohhh! It IS good!" she said, surprised. She took another clean finger and took a large dollop of batter, shoving it into her mouth.

After Belle poured the batter into the cake pans, she gave the spatula to Alice. "Go ahead." The girl happily took the spatula and licked it clean.

Not wanting her brother to be left out, Belle dipped a spoon into the batter and gave it to Henry. He, too, was unsure of tasting the uncooked dough, but enjoyed it once he gave it a chance. "Thanks, Belle! Our mom never lets us do this! She doesn't think it's safe," he grinned.

"Dinner's ready!" Ruby called. She set plates at the other side of the dining table, and Belle helped her serve. Their mother-approved dinner of baked chicken, pasta and veggies was devoured happily. More importantly, because they were away from home, Ruby snuck them each a soda with their dinner, only after they promised that it would be their secret.

They all helped Ruby clean up in the kitchen, Alice and Henry even drying and putting away the dishes with Belle's assistance. Ruby silently thanked Regina for raising such well-behaved children.

Alice was excited about the cakes in the oven. Henry, having sampled the batter, suddenly seemed interested in the dessert as well. They talked about it enthusiastically, and how good it would taste once finished. When they were done baking in the oven, Ruby and Belle took them out to cool.

"_Sookie is MINE!_" a voice called out.

"I'm sorry!" Henry cried. He had opened Ruby's laptop once again, which accidentally started playing the DVD in the player. Henry stared at the screen for a while, watching the people glare at each other. "Vampires?" he asked questioningly.

Ruby laughed when she sat down next to him. "Emma bought me _True Blood_ as a gag gift, me being a wolf and all… But it kind of grew on me. See? That's Bill, he's a vampire. And there's Eric, another vampire, and Sookie the telepath. She's part fairy, but we don't know it yet. Belle read the books," Ruby explained. "When she said there were werewolves, I just HAD to keep watching!" Seeing Henry's interest in the show, she continued to explain what had happened previously while they watched the episode.

Belle and Alice, on the other hand, started working on the frosting. The recipe for the frosting didn't have exact measurements, so the two had to keep sampling the frosting to make sure it had the right consistency and taste. The more they sampled, the more they giggled.

Frosting the cake was more fun than Alice had imagined. They each had a spatula and spread the frosting all over. Belle's half was a little more haphazard than Alice's expert lines. Belle handed Alice a piping bag and let her experiment. However, a lot of frosting from the bag kept "accidently" falling onto their fingers, which they had no choice but to lick up.

Eventually, Alice decorated a beautiful cake. The white frosting had a border of pink puffs and little pink roses. She wrote "Alice" and "Henry" on the top of the cake, experimenting writing with a piping bag. Ruby thought that even the bakers of 'Ace of Cakes' couldn't have done it any better.

Ruby snapped a picture of the cake, forwarding it to the children's parents and their grandfather – apparently David was making a family scrapbook – before they dug in. The moist cake was delicious, which Belle said was due to Alice's superb baking skills. Henry devoured two large pieces, taking advantage of Belle and Ruby's lack of sugar boundaries. They washed it all down with tall glasses of chocolate milk for Henry and strawberry milk for Alice.

They collected their things and transferred themselves back up to the women's apartment suite, thinking that they'd be more comfortable. Henry was keen on continuing the show, which Ruby was also getting in to.

Alice stood in front of Belle's bookcase, looking over her collection. She was talking to her white rabbit about some of the books, telling him which she liked and which she had wanted to read.

Belle joined the conversation, and the three talked about books for a while.

"What is your favorite book here?" Alice asked the rabbit, staring intently at his face. She faced the rabbit towards the books, making him browse the selection.

"What about 'Peter Rabbit?'" Belle offered.

Alice made the rabbit shake his head. "No, he said it's too juvenile for him. He's disrespectful, and gives rabbits a bad name. I tend to agree," she said insightfully. She stopped at a book and tapped his nose against it. "You like 'Little Women'? How very droll of you, Sir Rabbit."

Belle giggled. "I love 'Little Women'! Whom do you like best? I like Jo!"

Alice stared again into the rabbit's eyes. "He likes Amy, and so do I!" she shouted. She lifted her arms up, and spun around once. "We're both smart, artistic, and the youngest!"

"Well, since there are only two of you, yes. You are the youngest. Just don't start calling Regina 'Marmee.'"

"Oh, Narnia!" Alice said excitedly, eyeing another set of books. She ran to the closet closing the door. Then, she came out, looking about in wonder. "I'm Lucy! What is this magical place I have entered from the wardrobe?" she asked. "Oh, Mr. Tumnus!" she said to the rabbit. "How very kind of you to offer me your hospitality! But I am a human girl! The White Witch may arrest you!" Catching sight of Belle looking at her with wonder, the girl let out a shout. "Oh no! She has seen us!" She giggled and ran into the next room.

Belle laughed and clapped. Alice reentered the room and gave a curtsy. Turning back to the bookcase, the woman looked at other titles. "I think I found another book that Sir Rabbit would like. How about 'The Wizard of Oz'?" she asked.

Alice picked up the book and looked at the cover, then showed it to the rabbit. "Neither of us have read it, but it looks like the show my moms went to tonight," she observed. "May we borrow it?" she asked timidly. Alice was never one to ask, since she felt like a burden even when she didn't need anything with previous families, but she felt comfortable with her new friend.

"Of course! I think you'll like it," the librarian replied, placing the book aside. "Now, I'm sure you've read this one," she said taking out a heavy book.

Alice smiled brightly. "Of course I've read 'Harry Potter'!"

* * *

"What happens next?" Henry asked worriedly. They had finished the season two finale, and the boy was bouncing up and down on the couch while he waited for Ruby to change the discs.

"Well, Emma said season three is when we get to see the werewolves, so I don't know!" Ruby replied, sitting back down.

"Who took Bill? Where did he go? Who's going to clean Sookie's house? And what about Eric?" The boy continued to bounce, anxious. By the time the theme song came on, he was already singing. "Before the night is through, I wanna do bad things with you!" he sang out while he air guitared.

Ruby gulped audibly, though the excited 11-year old took no notice. For a moment, she thought of Regina's reaction when she found out her son was watching an HBO series. Then a smoking-hot red head walked across the screen. Ruby glanced over to make sure her girlfriend was otherwise preoccupied before leaning forward to get a closer look.

* * *

**A/N: If you hadn't noticed, the sugar is just about kicking in for the kids. The conclusion of this chapter is really my favorite. Please bear with this set up chapter, and be patient! The next update won't be too far along. I hope you enjoy this story's new direction. Please review!**


	9. Caring for the Queen's Treasure, part 2

"Well, WHY is a raven like a writing desk?" Alice asked.

"I don't think Poe's story can answer that."

A swift set of knocks on the door interrupted Alice and Belle's conversation about the gothic collection of literature. Seeing that Ruby's eyes were glued to the screen, and the noticeably attractive red head, Belle went to answer the door herself.

"Aurora! Mulan!" Alice shouted. She rushed up and embraced the pair, lightly pushing Belle to the side.

The visitors, though they had met Alice several times, weren't used to her being so vocal let alone physical with them. Aurora bent down to return the hug, while Mulan gently ruffled her hair.

After giving her own hugs, Belle asked, "What brings you two here?"

Mulan shifted her weight uncomfortably. "We heard that the two of you were babysitting. And although I am on-call for the station..." her voice trailed off.

"We wanted to see what it was like," Aurora admitted. Mulan sighed in relief for not having to divulge her feelings, and she rubbed Aurora's back appreciatively.

Alice's grin widened. "Now that you're here, we can play a game!" the girl announced. She took both Aurora and Mulan by the hands to bring them further into the little apartment. They stopped behind the couch where Ruby and Henry were watching TV. "Let's play House!"

The visitors smiled. Not being from this world, they were afraid they wouldn't be able to participate. However, was a game they were familiar with.

"Rory, you're the mom, k? And Mulan should be the other mom, like Emma, because she's tough," Alice instructed.

Mulan smirked. "I am quite reslilient."

Holding up her stuffed rabbit, Alice announced, "And Sir Rabbit is the baby."

From behind the girl, Belle asked, "Can I play too?"

"Of course! You're my big sister!" She took Belle's hand in hers. "Okay, Moms, you need to build us a house where we live. Big sister Belle and I are at school, so we can't help."

The little blonde handed Aurora her toy, who craddled it in her arms and give it a kiss between the ears.

Belle leaned over and whispered, pointing to a door. "There's our linen closet. Just use whatever blankets and pillows we have in there."

The pairs split off. Alice and Belle sat in a corner, the two of them pretending that they were doing school work, using a nearby book as their "textbook." They took turns looking up pretending information and writing notes. Alice periodically raised her hand in the air to answer the imaginary teacher's questions. Belle nodded along, following Alice's lead, and offered her own answers as well.

The linen closet was surprisingly full for such a small room. After Aurora carefully placed Sir Rabbit in a nearby armchair, the couple grabbed armfuls of pillows and blankets. Using the back of the couch as a wall, they stacked pillows and chairs along the sides and made a little pillow house. They took a bedsheet to use as the roof, Mulan reinforcing the middle with a broom. The "front door" was a towel that was easily brought back for entry and pulled down to close.

Aurora layed the rabbit on a small folded blanket in the corner, and rolled up some towels around it making a small box inside of the pillow house.

"What are you making with those cloths?" Mulan asked.

Without looking up, her partner replied, "I'm making our bedrooms. You and I, the moms, have our own rooms, and our children have their own." She continued placing the towels long the ground until she was satisfied. "This is our room," she said, pulling Mulan into the little space. She gave her a sweet kiss. Mulan reached her arms around her waist to return the affection.

"Oh! The mommies are kissing! Let's wait outside until they're done," Alice whispered to Belle. Apparently, they were finished with school and they were coming home. She lowered her voice even more and pulled Belle closer saying, "Sometimes, my moms take a long time to finish…"

Belle tried to stifle a giggle, but the sound altered the couple.

"Welcome home, girls!" Aurora announced happily, pulling away from her girlfriend. "We made this beautiful house! And I even made you a bedroom."

Alice and Belle entered the little pillow house, their "parents" adjusting themselves to allow for the girls' entry. The small girl took the rabbit into her lap and smiled down at him, then looked to her surroundings. "Why, Mama Mulan, what a fine, sturdy house you built for us!"

The warrior placed her strong arm around Aurora lovingly. "Do not forget your Mother Aurora. She built the house with me, and she made the rooms," she instructed.

The girl gave a little curtsy, while in a sitting position. "Mother Rory, I love what you did with the place!" she complimented. Turning to Belle, she asked, "Don't you, Big Sister Belle?"

"Why, of course! It's quite lovely."

"Well, maybe I'll huff and I'll puff, and blow this house down!" a voice said from outside the pillow house. Four heads made their way to peek out of the front, and looking up they saw Ruby standing with her arms crossed.

Alice, after some light pushing and crawling, came out to greet the wolf. Slowly, the others followed one at a time.

"What are you guys playing?" Ruby asked. Though she kept her voice light, it was twinged with a hint of jealousy.

"We're playing House! I didn't think you wanted to play because you were watching vampires with Henry… But you can play with us if you want!" she offered.

Ruby flashed a wide grin. "Of course! Who can I be?"

Looking back at her pretend family, Alice thought a while. "You can be the girl who's trying to go out with my big sister," she said. "Mother Aurora likes you, but Mama Mulan isn't sure about you just yet." The little blonde pulled Belle over to a corner. "Belle and I are here talking. Ruby, you're going to come try to ask my big sister out. But Mama Mulan will come out of the house and try to talk to you first." With those instructions, Alice started miming a conversation with Belle.

Though she was trying to play along, Belle kept glancing at Ruby, feeling the flush in her face. Even pretend, it was making her giddy thinking of Ruby trying to court her.

Ruby waited a few minutes to let the scene start to play out in front of her before approaching the conversing girls. "Um, hi, Belle. My name is Ruby. I've seen you around school and I wanted to know if you'd like to go out with me," she said shyly.

Belle gave a soft laugh, playing with the ends of her hair and biting her lip. "Hello, Ruby. I've seen you around too."

Grinning, Alice nudged Belle's arm and said, "Ooooohhhh! She liiiiiikes you! I told you so!"

Ruby felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she was faced with Mulan wearing her aviator glasses and looking back up at her intimidatingly. "Excuse me, young woman. What are your intentions with my daughter?" she asked gravely.

Alice leaned in between the women and mumbled, "Good job with the glasses, Mulan! It really scares her!" She jumped back to her previous position and started twisting her body happily, watching the adults play her game.

"I, uh…" Ruby stuttered. Even though they were playing, she was still thrown off by the intensity of Mulan's face, feeling the pierce of her dark eyes hidden behind the mirrored lenses. "I would like to take your daughter out on a date?" she asked.

Aurora came to Belle's side, placing her hand on her shoulder. "Is this the special girl you've been telling me about?"

Mulan turned her head sharply. "Our eldest never mentioned any one to me! How long have you known Belle? Where will you be taking her? I want to know if your intentions are honorable!"

Belle laughed again. "Oh, Mama Mulan. I never mentioned Ruby because I didn't want you to scare her off." She put her arm around Ruby's.

"Tell her you're going to the movies!" Alice whispered in suggestion, pointing to the bedroom.

Laughing, the she-wolf said, "I will take her to dinner and a movie. I'll bring her back home by 9. Is that okay, _Mama_ Mulan?"

Mulan stiffened, and straightened the glasses on her face. "Be home by 9. Belle, if she tries anything, you call me," she instructed. She pointed two fingers at her eyes, then back at Ruby.

Pulling Belle by the hand, with Ruby following closely, Alice pointed towards the bedroom. "That's the movie theater, where you have your date." The pair walked into the room hand in hand and shut the door behind them.

Alice smiled, and opened the door to the pillow house. "While they're on their date, let's have dinner and a tea party!" she said brightly. She crawled into the house and sat down. "What did you make for dinner, Mama Mulan?"

Taking off her glasses, Mulan began miming serving dinner to Alice and Aurora. They pretend-ate hungrily, Alice making sure to feed Sir Rabbit as well, and drank the pretend-tea that Aurora served. Alice made sure that her pretend-parents kept their pinky fingers up while drinking their tea. While they drank and supped, they talked about Alice's pretend-school and her pretend-lessons.

A soft knock on the door interrupted the conversation. Alice jumped up to answer the door, Aurora unable to stop her because she was trying to stand up from her seated position.

When the door opened, Regina stopped at the sight before her. Her little daughter answered the door, with Aurora and Mulan crawling on the floor behind her. Henry was sitting on the couch, leaned forward on the edge of the seat watching something very bloody and violent on the screen. Belle and Ruby were nowhere to be seen.

"What the hell is going on here?" Regina cried. Emma stood behind her, trying to peer in. Since Regina held her ground in the doorway, the blonde wasn't able to get past her partner.

"My real moms!" Alice shouted as she ran to embrace Regina. She squeezed behind the brunette to hug her other mom.

"Hey, kid! You're... unusually excited," Emma murmured.

Frozen, Regina continued to stare around her. "Henry, what are you watching? Where are Belle and Ruby? Miss Fa, it was my understanding that you were on duty!"

"Oh, hey, Mom," Henry replied, his eyes still glued on the screen.

Mulan straightened up. "I am on call. We came to visit your children while they were under Belle and Ruby's care. They are in their bedroom," she replied.

"WHAT?" Regina shouted.

Alice ran back out into the room to stand in front of her mother. "No, Mommy! They're not in the bedroom, it's a movie theater! I'll go get them." She ran back to the bedroom and knocked loudly on the door, then ran back to the others.

When Alice made her way around Regina, Emma was able to squeeze herself into the little apartment. She grinned and said, "Oh, cool! A pillow fort!"

"No, Ma. That's the house. Rory and Mulan are the mommies, and they made the house. Belle is the big sister, and she's on a date with Ruby, her crush from school," the girl explained.

Regina's face relaxed from anger and contorted into confusion.

"So you're playing House? I want to play!" Emma said excitedly.

"Emma, honestly…" Regina sighed.

Belle and Ruby emerged from the bedroom, both girls slightly flushed. Belle was trying to straighten her shirt while Ruby ran her fingers through her hair, trying to brush out the tangles.

"Did you have a nice time out?" Belle asked sweetly.

Before Regina could answer, Henry let out a shout of surprise. Everyone turned to see wolves jumping on a vampire, and lots of blood. Ruby hurried and turned off the TV. Henry groaned.

"And what is my son watching?" Regina questioned. Her anger returned. She was always so selective in what her children watched.

"Is that season three?" Emma smiled, looking at Ruby.

The werewlf, trying to busy herself with putting away the DVD and avoiding the mayor's eyes, she softly replied, "Henry may have discovered my _True Blood_ DVDs…"

"_True Blood_?! Why would a werewolf have _True Blood_ on DVD?" the shorter-haired brunette asked. Emma gave a slight cough beside her.

Henry ran up to Alice and stood closely behind her. He looked down and gruffly whispered, "Sookie…."

The girl gave out a playful scream and ran towards the bedroom, with Henry chasing after her.

"What exactly happened today?" Regina asked slowly.

"Well…. we had dinner. Alice and I baked a cake, which I'm sure you saw the picture of. Then we came back here. Alice and I talked about books until Mulan and Aurora came, then we played House. Ruby and Henry were watching TV before Ruby started playing with us," Belle smiled. Despite Regina's anger, the librarian wasn't scared. She thought their evening was a success.

"You gave my children cake? And you let Henry watch TV the entire time we were gone?" she asked.

Emma was looking at her phone. "That's a pretty cake," she murmured. Ruby held out a plate in front of the sheriff. She knew her friend, and knew that the blonde would want a piece of the cake once Belle had mentioned it. Greedily, Emma started shoveling it in her mouth. Ruby held a slice of cake out to the mayor, who just glared at it, then turned her head away. Instead, the cake went to Mulan and Aurora.

"Henry! Alice! Get over here now! We're leaving!" the strict mother instructed. Laughing, the children returned. They both collected their things, Alice taking up the copy of 'The Wizard of Oz' that Belle said she could borrow.

"Sir Rabbit and I had so much fun with you guys tonight!" Alice said happily, giving each of her friends big hugs. "We should play again!"

Henry waved good-bye at everyone, trying to be too cool to give hugs.

Belle approached Regina and placed a hand on her shoulder. "We really had a fun time with your children. Alice really opened up and played with us. She's such a delightful child. If you ever want us to watch her again, please don't hesitate to call."

Regina's hard eyes seemed to soften at the librarian's words, but she kept her face stoic. After a few moments, she said, "Thank you, Miss French and Miss Lucas, for watching our children. Good night. And good night to you too." Regina nodded to Mulan and Aurora. The mayor escorted her children out of the apartment.

Emma lingered a bit. "Hey, sorry about that, guys. I swear she was in such a good mood! But, you know… she's kind of a control freak."

"Oh, don't worry about. Regina will be fine," Ruby shrugged. She was used to seeing the woman overreact especially when it came to her children, and she knew that the blonde would surely be able to calm her down.

Emma approached the pillow house and leaned down to look inside. "Oh, cool! You even made bedrooms!"

"Miss Swan! Would you like continue the slumber party with your friends or are you coming home with us?" a voice called from down the hallway.

The others laughed as Emma straightened up. "Oops! Gotta go, guys!" She ran out and followed her family, meeting them at the car.

During the drive home, Alice chattered non-stop about her evening. She told them about the cake that she baked and how much fun she had decorating it, the books that Belle and she had read, their game of House, and how she thought that her moms had the best friends in the whole world.

Henry was busy on his phone, looking up more information on _True Blood_.

When they got home, Regina instructed her children to go into the kitchen and drink two glasses of water in an attempt to flush out the sugar in their systems.

Emma put her arms around Regina's waist. "You know, the kids really did have a good time. Don't be mad at Belle and Ruby. You bake for them all the time."

Regina sighed, placing her head on her lover's shoulder. "I know. It's just that they're my children. I worry about them."

Laughing, Emma said, "You mean, our children. We can't be with them all the time, and we can't control their every action."

"I know. I guess it wasn't so bad. But you'll have to talk to Henry about _True Blood_…." Regina pulled away from Emma. She went to the kitchen and collected Alice, instructing her to get ready for bed. The two went up the stairs.

While Henry was putting his glass in the sink, Emma walked over to her son. "So… Ruby let you watch _True Blood_?"

He looked down with a frown. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I know it's bloody and violet, stuff that Mom doesn't like, but it's so good!"

Emma looked behind her to make sure that Regina was upstairs. She bent down and whispered, "Hey, I'm actually behind. Maybe we can go visit Ruby again soon and watch more. Our secret, okay?"

Henry smiled and gave his mom a hug. "Okay! Good night, Ma! Love you!" He ran up to get ready for bed.

Emma looked around the empty downstairs, savoring the moment. She had a wonderful date night with her woman plus a little backseat action, her kids had a great time thanks to her friends, and she found another thing to bond over with Henry. She turned off the lights and went upstairs.

* * *

**A/N: This concludes Ruby and Belle's first adventure in babysitting. I really hope you enjoyed it, because I know I did! It was wonderful being able to explore more of Alice (via sugar high) after falling in love with her in "The Shattered Looking Glass." This is also my first time writing Regina and Emma, and I hope I didn't mess them up too much. Please review! And stay tuned for more adventures of Sleeping Warrior, Red Beauty and Swan Queen!**


	10. A Period Piece, part 1

**A/N: I want to apologize in advance for the graphic nature of this fic, but I'm not sorry. It's freakin hilarious, but not for the faint of heart. And we need something of offset the depression caused by chapter 9 of "The Shattered Looking Glass." Please don't unfollow me!**

**These are ****_definitely_**** not my characters, despite the liberties I have taken with them.**

* * *

Mulan and Aurora sat patiently in their friends' little living room at Granny's. Being the granddaughter of the manager had its advantages, including having her own suite in the bed and breakfast. The little sitting room, despite being decorated in Granny's style, still had elements of its occupants. Technically, it was Ruby's place but Belle's presence was still felt. The large flat panel television sat on top of a little entertainment center, with some electronics for Ruby to watch TV shows and movies or play video games. The small coffee table was strewn with books and magazines, reflecting both girls' tastes. Mulan and Aurora's steaming mugs of tea sat on coasters near the edge of the table.

Aurora leaned over to take up her mug again and took a sip, and she glanced at her girlfriend nervously. Mulan gave her a firm smile despite feeling a twinge of uneasiness herself. They could hear Belle and Ruby's hushed argument from the next room, making the two newcomers nervous. They had only been in Storybrooke for a few days. Snow White and Emma were the only people they knew, but Ruby and Belle, being their neighbors in the inn, were quick to become the girls' mentors in the new world. Still, they didn't know what to expect when Belle asked them to come over for a little "family chat."

Finally, Belle strolled into the room holding small boxes and Ruby followed closely with her laptop. Ruby shoved some of the clutter on the table to one side before setting down the computer. Belle put down the boxes next to the machine, then tried to straighten the mess her partner made. The two women stood before their visitors.

"Okay," Ruby started, "I'm sure you're both wondering why you're here." She looked down to her friends, who looked back up with silent expectancy. When neither woman spoke, Ruby continued. "I remember what life was like in the Enchanted Forest, and what a pain some things can be. But we've decided to show you one of the best inventions of this world: pads and tampons."

Belle smiled down and pointed to the boxes. Aurora stared at them with interest, expecting the boxes to start doing something. Mulan frowned, not understanding. The boxes seemed plain, with same words Ruby had uttered. When the princess realized the boxes didn't possess any extraordinary features, she looked back up at her friends. "I'm sorry. I don't understand," she commented. Mulan nodded in agreement.

The two instructors looked at each other, Belle nodding slightly and Ruby grinning. The latter bent down to open her laptop. "I'll show you some videos - moving pictures with sounds - to try to explain what we're trying to convey."

Ruby stood up and looked to her friends as the video played. Belle watched the video with interest. The educational video went on dryly for a few moments. Suddenly, Aurora gasped and Mulan choked on the tea she just took a sip of.

"You wanted to bring us here to talk about... our monthly flow?" Aurora shouted. She patted Mulan's back, who was still trying to catch her breath from coughing.

Mulan and Aurora continued to watch in horror as the video concluded.

"Was that... necessary?" the warrior asked warily.

Belle smiled. "Well, now you know the WHY! And this," Belle said as she picked up the box of pads, "is one of the things we use." She took out a pad, took it out of the wrapper and held it up for her friends.

Aurora frowned. "Where is the rest?"

Ruby chimed in, "This is it."

Mulan laughed. "I doubt that will contain anything! It is no thicker than the cloth of my sweater!"

Belle reached over for her own cup of tea, then slowly started pouring it onto the pad. The girls watched in amazement as the pad absorbed the mug of liquid without spilling a drop.

"What is this sorcery?!" Mulan shouted, standing up. She took the pad and held it. Slight moisture was felt on her fingertips, but the liquid was absorbed. She sniffed the pad before placing it down on the table. Mulan wasn't sure what she was expecting. It smelled like tea.

Belle gave Mulan a questioning look, but said nothing as she pulled out another pad. She took a pair of panties from her pocket and demonstrated how, with the adhesive backing and wings, it stayed on the underwear. "And when you're done, you just throw it away!" Belle showed as she removed it with ease.

Aurora's eyes lit up. "No more washing and hanging them to dry?"

"I wish I had those during my time in the army. Training was... difficult, to say the least," Mulan mumbled, taking her seat back on the couch.

Ruby bent down to her computer again. "No, THIS would have made your days in the army better. These are better for being active." Pressing play on the next video, the she-wolf stepped back and watched her friends. This video was brief. The princess made a face at the grossly anatomical picture on the screen, but watched intently as the voice gave instructions.

"Point the applicator and push up," the video announced.

Aurora gagged and buried her head in her girlfriend's chest. Mulan turned pale while putting her arms around the other's shoulders. "You expect us to put what? Where?!"

Belle raised her hands in defense. "I know this is a lot to absorb right away. And quite a personal issue, but it's important. Maybe you should start with the pads." She handed Mulan one box. "When and if you're ready, you can use the tampons." The other box was then placed in the warrior's hands.

Ruby closed the computer. "We're sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable, but we just want to help."

Pulling her head up and regaining her regal stature, Aurora sat up and said, "Thank you, Belle, Ruby. We appreciate your efforts."

She looked back to her lover who stiffened. "Yes, thank you." Without another word, the two took up the boxes and returned to their room.

"I think that went well, right?" Ruby asked. Belle shrugged.

* * *

Emma and Snow sat at the booth, waiting for their friends to come in to Granny's. They were glad to see that the girls seemed to be settling in to life at Storybrooke after only one week. The newcomers were quick learners and very social, making new friends all around. Even Granny seemed to take a liking to them, acting as a surrogate grandmother at times.

The bell chimed merrily as the expected women entered. Aurora saw their friends immediately and went to join them, Mulan following closely. After friendly greetings, they sat down to look at the menu while starting small talk.

Just as Ruby started making her way towards the group of women, a man at a nearby table let out a small noise. "Oh, no! I spilled some of my soda! It's this wobbly table..." he complained loudly to himself. The table, as it shifted side to side, caused some of the drink to spill out over the sides of the cup.

"Don't worry, Ruby! I can help!" Aurora said brightly as she jumped out of the booth. From her purse she removed a pad. Taking it from the wrapper, she wiped up the spilled liquid. Then, she took out another pad. She took off the adhesive backing and stuck it on the floor. She moved the table leg on top of it, keeping the table steady. The princess smiled at the stunned man, before returning to the booth.

"Where was I? Ah, yes! Emma, what was it you were saying about 'bacon'?" Mulan asked.

Ruby who had been frozen in shock the entire time, finally approached the table. "That's not what we meant when we gave those to you!" she whispered rashly at the pair.

The warrior looked up and said proudly, "No, but Aurora and I have found many uses for these items. They are very handy."

"And so absorbent!" Aurora beamed.

"She does have a point," Snow sighed in agreement.

"I might regret saying this later but... Do you want a job, Aurora? That was pretty innovative," Ruby offered.

Emma closed her menu and slammed it down on the table. "I don't even want to know what's going on... Rubes, I'll just have the usual."

* * *

"Mmm! Something smells good!" Belle said as she entered the little kitchen at Granny's B&B, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply.

Guests didn't normally use it, as they opted to go to the diner instead, but Mulan felt like taking advantage of her resources. "I am frying chicken. I thought you and Aurora could have lunch here before you go out. She will be down soon," Mulan explained.

When Belle opened her eyes, she stood still in surprise. There were pads wrapped around Mulan's hands, wrists and forearms up to her elbows. The woman softly whistled to herself while she pushed the chicken around the pan, the oil sputtering happily.

"Um…. What are you doing?" Belle asked warily.

"Is this not how to fry chicken? I have been doing it the same way for years. Aurora certainly enjoys this dish, so I thought you would too."

The other girl tried to hide her grimace. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or to scream. "I mean, what are you wearing on your arms?"

"It is the same as my leather bracers. They are quite useful in protecting my arms. Or did you prefer that I lose my hand?" the warrior offered. As if on cue, a large pop came from the pan. Mulan didn't flinch as oil splattered towards her and safely landed on the feminine hygiene products.

Ruby walked into the kitchen, attracted by the smell, and caught the last bit of the conversation. She stopped suddenly when she saw what her friend was referencing. "That's… not quite the same. Good luck getting those off. It's going to hurt like a bitch."

Mulan smirked. "I do not understand your phrase, 'Hurt like a bitch.' You have not been able to hit me yet in sparring practice. Perhaps you are overestimating the viciousness of the female hound."

"I am SO going to kick your ass next time!" Ruby growled.

"I have yet to see that."

Aurora walked down, interrupting the deputies' banter. "Hello, friends! Are you joining us for lunch?" she said cheerfully, embracing first Belle then Ruby in greeting. She walked over to her lover and gave a kiss on the cheek. "Ooh, that's my favorite! And how smart of you to protect yourself! It took weeks to heal after the last time you made this!" the princess crooned proudly, looking from the pan to Mulan's proud face.

Ruby sat down dejectedly. "Well, lunch certainly sounds good."

* * *

There was a lot to do in Granny's while they prepared for the big celebration that night. Though it was Aurora's day off, she still came into the diner to help prepare. It was her first time to attend a party in Storybrooke and she was anxious to see what it was like. In the corner of the diner, Aurora was surrounded by various paints and making a large banner on a canvas sheet. The princess was happily painting to herself and didn't notice the people standing a few feet from her.

Regina and Emma noticed Aurora painting so they stood up from their booth to greet her. However, they weren't sure how to approach her once they had a chance to really see what the princess was doing. Aurora stuck her arm out to the side to dip her brush into the paint. The string sticking out from her palm stuck out suspiciously. Neither of them thought that Aurora was using a traditional brush.

"Ahem, Granny Lucas, if you needed financial assistance in securing simple tools like a paintbrush, you only need to ask," Regina offered warily.

The older woman smiled at the princess. "Oh, I have paintbrushes, Madam Mayor. Aurora just seems to insist that those things work better. I'll let the girl do what she wants. She's a hard worker and she's enjoying herself. There are other things I could be worrying about."

Regina glanced over again. Her eyes widened at the sight. "Alice! What are you doing?" she called out.

Her precious little girl was standing with Aurora, the pair smiling at each other. Armed with a tampon of her own, Alice started adding her own artistic style to the banner. When she heard her name being called out, the little girl held up the "brush". "Aurora said I could help!" the child announced proudly.

"With her skills, this sign will look so much better!" Aurora chimed in.

Emma hit her forehead with her palm and looked down. "Alice, no… Just… no. Please. For your mother's sake," she whispered more to herself than her daughter.

Mulan, who had been silently watching, reached over for a tampon too. "I shall assist as well!" she cried.

Aurora frowned at her, causing the warrior to put it back down. "I don't think that's a good idea, darling. Your artistic skills are questionable. Let's leave it to the expert."

At the word "expert", Alice smiled broadly and energetically set to work on impressing the princess. The two girls worked side by side, painting and drawing together.

Regina slapped her partner's arm. "Emma! Do something!"

"What am I supposed to do? She wants to help… Regina, look at how sweet they are together. It's so cute. And we should be encouraging Alice," she offered.

The brunette's face contorted in a confused pout. "But… I know, but… Emma…." She was at a loss for words. It warmed her heart to see her daughter so social and making friends, and of course she was proud of Alice's skills. Yet to allow a little girl to use such an intimate item, even if she didn't know what it was…

"Oh…" Emma sighed. Her surprised eyes were focused on the banner.

Looking up, Regina saw what Emma was looking at. As if in denial, she asked, "Emma… WHAT is she painting?"

The blonde gulped. "I think… it's a lily. Oh my god…."

Regina walked towards the counter and sat down. "I need a drink. I can't handle this," she muttered.

Granny chuckled as she set down a glass of scotch in front of the woman. "It's not easy being a parent," the older woman sighed. Regina took the drink and drained it in one gulp.

* * *

**A/N: I really do hope you enjoyed this story! It only gets better! Please review!**


	11. A Period Piece, part 2

**A/N: Happy birthday to me! In celebration, I'm posting the conclusion to "A Period Piece". This second half is my favorite. I hope you enjoy it as much as me!**

* * *

Emma walked into the sheriff's office greeted by the smell of coffee brewing. She inhaled deeply, enjoying the aroma. On her desk she found fruit and bagels waiting.

Mulan stood to greet her boss. "Good morning, Sheriff Swan! I have brought you breakfast, and took the liberty of preparing some coffee."

Smiling broadly, Emma said, "Thanks!" She gratefully took a bagel and generously spread some cream cheese on it. However, remembering Regina's constant reminder to eat healthier, she took a strawberry and shoved it in her mouth as she poured some coffee into a mug.

Finally taking her seat behind her desk, Emma took a large bite of her bagel and followed it soon after with a sip of hot coffee. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment. Hiring Mulan as a deputy was a great idea. She was hard-working, loyal, and thoughtful. It also didn't hurt that, being an early riser, the warrior was the first one in. Emma didn't have to rush to get to work when Mulan was on duty.

Suddenly, the sheriff sat up from her reclined position. She looked down into her mug, which was already half-drained of its contents. Emma brought it to her face and sniffed. It smelled the same. She took a sip, but nothing seemed out of place. She still couldn't place her sudden paranoia about her beverage. The coffee maker sat innocently at the little table, surrounded by the sugar, creamer, napkins and coffee grounds. After staring at the small coffee station, Emma stood up and approached it. Her hand trembled as she reached out. As if in fear that the machine would attack her, she flipped the lid before snapping her arm back. She let out a yelp of surprise when she peeked in.

Mulan rushed to her side. "Emma! What is wrong?" she asked anxiously.

Emma reached her hand in and pulled out a brown, soaked pad. Moist coffee grounds clung to the pad, but most of the grounds fell back into the machine as the "filter" was lifted. "What... the hell... is THIS?!" she asked slowly, using all of her energy not to punch her friend.

The deputy stood defiantly. "We were out of coffee filters. I am aware of your habit of skipping breakfast, so I prepared something for you. I do not see the problem, except I am not cleaning the machine. It was working well until you improperly removed the filter," Mulan stated.

Emma sighed deeply and threw the soiled pad into the trash can. "Just... go to the store and buy new filters. Save the receipt. We can write it off..." As much as she appreciated the gesture, sometimes Mulan could be just too much.

Without another word, Mulan took up her aviator glasses and left. Horseshoes on pavement outside alerted Emma to the deputy's departure.

Sadly, Emma continued with her breakfast while she read her email, the coffee mug standing neglected at the corner of the desk. The sound of familiar clicking disturbed the sheriff from her dull work.

"Miss Swan! It's good to see you eating so healthy! You have fruit that's not drenched in high fructose corn syrup or out of a can!" Regina said proudly.

Emma smiled sheepishly. "It was Mulan. She's so damn observant. She knows I don't eat a good breakfast."

The brunette kissed her girlfriend on the cheek, wiping a few crumbs from Emma's mouth with her thumb. She dropped a file on the desk as she made herself comfortable on the sheriff's lap. "I just came by to give you the forms you requested."

Emma smiled up, closing her eyes and puckering her mouth for a kiss. After waiting a few moments, she opened her eyes to see Regina smirking devilishly. The blonde pouted, nudging the file with her knuckles to acknowledge it's presence. "Well, thanks. I guess," she sighed disappointedly.

Regina let out a laugh, the tone harkening to her days of cruelty. She bent her head down and planted the tender, passionate kiss the other was so eager to receive. She enjoyed watching her partner suffer for attention, even if only for a few moments.

Getting back to her feet, Regina announced, "So, I'll see you for lunch?"

"Of course!" Pleased by the short visit from her lover, Emma grinned and took up the file.

"Em, I'm just going to refill my coffee before I go back to the office."

"No! Don't use that coffee maker..." Emma snapped her head up.

Halfway through refilling, the mayor looked back and asked, "Why?"

Emma looked down, putting fingers to the bridge of her nose. "Mulan used a pad to filter the coffee."

Regina stopped pouring coffee and forcefully slammed the pot back into the machine. Tilting her travel mug into the garbage can, she poured out the coffee. The coffee-stained pad lay face up in the trash, mocking the brunette. "Fire her," she growled warningly.

"She's a good deputy..."

The mayor glared sharply. "Do I look like I give a bother? There are fucking pads everywhere in this town that Aurora and she go. AND THEY LET ALICE PAINT WITH A TAMPON!"

"Alice was so happy..." Emma started, but fire danced dangerously behind the brown eyes. "Okay, fine. I'll talk to Mulan. I sent her out to get real coffee filters."

"Good! I'll have no more of this nonsense!" Regina said, storming out the door.

Sighing angrily, Emma took up the mug again and took a long draft of the cooled beverage. She let out a groan, then rushed over go the garbage can to spit out the coffee. Sputtering and coughing, she wiped her mouth with a napkin, determined to not let Mulan or Aurora catch her unaware again.

* * *

Ruby let out a loud groan as she plopped herself into the driver's seat of the cruiser.

Raising an eyebrow behind her aviator glasses, Mulan questioned, "Was it that difficult to get into the car?"

The other woman glared while she started the car and growled as she pulled out of the parking lot. A few minutes into the patrol, Ruby sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Mulan. It's just that Belle and I had a fight. Okay, so it wasn't so much of a fight as me snipping at her for nothing. Between Wolfstime and Shark Week, I don't know how she puts up with me sometimes."

"Shark Week?"

The wolf smiled weekly. "You know. That time of the month, where I just want to bite someone's head off and..."

"Ah!" the warrior nodded knowingly. "I usually crave meat when it is my ladies' time."

"I just started surfing the crimson wave. I guess I'll feel better in 5-7 days."

"Until then, you must tame the blood demon!" the soldier annouced, holding a finger in the air.

"Sometimes I feel like my uterus is crying red tears of loneliness."

Mulan grimaced. "It is better than the alternative. I would rather have my red package delivered than a bun in the oven."

"It certainly MAXI-es my energy."

"I am sure you ALWAYS recover well."

"True, though it's hard to keep a CAREFREE attitude when Aunto Flo is visiting."

"And I like my current BODYFORM. I am able to hold myself with proper POISE."

The two women looked at each other and laughed at their ability to keep up with what the other was thinking.

"So, I heard about the coffee filter thing. Regina was livid!" Ruby commented once they calmed down.

The other deputy shrugged. "It did the job well. It is the leading brand in absorbency."

Ruby let out a howl of laughter. "I wish I could've seen her face! It must've been a PEARL."

"I did not. You should ask the sheriff. But I am glad that I was able to STAYFREE from the scene," Mulan replied.

Suddenly, Mulan's phone rang. "Deputy Fa," she answered.

"_Um, guys? You know I can hear everything you're saying_," Emma from the other line. "_I was trying to get your attention over the radio but I guess you didn't hear me._"

Reaching over for the radio mouthpiece, Ruby saw that it had been improperly placed causing the button to be held down. She picked it up and said into the radio, "Sorry, Em."

Emma replied over the radio, "_It's okay. My dad ran off a while ago. Something about needing more garlic for a new recipe Mulan gave him... Really, I think you guys scared him away_."

Mulan put her phone back into her pocket and took the mouthpiece from her friend. "I apologize, Sheriff. I did not realize that your father was such a DIVACUP." She winked at Ruby, who let out another laugh.

"_It's okay. He'll O.B. Fine._"

The two deputies laughed hysterically.

"Just give him until SUMMER'S EVE," Ruby said.

"We were just PLAYTEXing around," Mulan added. Again, another bout of laughter came over the women.

Ruby drove into the parking lot of the sheriff's office. She had been so engrossed in the conversation that she had not paid any attention during patrol. By habit, she drove along the route until they returned.

Once the two entered the office, they found Emma sitting at her desk and grinning. "Did you have a good patrol?"

"It was uneventful, though I was just going with the flow of things," Mulan answered.

The three laughed again. "You guys are too much, but now I want a fat, juicy burger. Let's go to Granny's," Ruby suggested. Still holding her keys in her hand, she led the group back out to the car.

As they were exiting, they ran into David who was just returning.

"We're going to Granny's. Want me to grab you something?" Emma asked her father.

Unable to meet any of the women's gaze, he replied, "No, thanks. I'll be fine. Don't forget your coat...ex." He laughed to himself and rushed back into the building.

Emma stood still and shook her head while her friends laughed at the prince's comeback. "I'm going to pretend that didn't happen..." the sheriff sighed.

* * *

"Ugh!" Ruby grunted when she fell to the floor. Mulan held out a hand to her friend, which she reluctantly took to stand up. She rubbed her hip slightly and stretched her neck out to the side, cracking the joints.

"I apologize, Ruby. I did not mean to hit you so hard as to 'knock you on your ass,' as you would say," the warrior expressed, though she wore a haughty grin.

The other scowled, and took her fighting stance again. "Don't be sorry. I SWEAR I'll hit you once! Come at me again!" she threatened.

Mulan raised an eyebrow but did as she was told. Since Emma talked Regina into letting the sheriff's office have their own personal gym, Ruby and Mulan had taken to weekly sparring practice. It kept Mulan's fighting skills sharp while teaching the waitress at the same time. However, the wolf had yet to make contact with the soldier's superb hand-to-hand combat abilities.

The two exchanged blows a few more times, and Mulan blocked Ruby successfully. A bead of sweat slowly rolled down the challenger's determined face. The warrior went for Ruby with a left hook, but Ruby blocked it. Somehow, her counter move landed squarely on Mulan's shoulder.

Ruby jumped back and squealed with excitement. "YES! I got you! In your FACE!" she exclaimed happily.

Mulan shrugged. "Actually, it was my shoulder but it shows that you are improving."

Someone clapped from the doorway. "Very impressive, Ruby!" the voice called out. David was leaning against the doorframe, watching the exchange. Since Mulan had joined the force, he was able to take more time off from deputying and spending more time helping around town and at home. He had heard about the new workout room from his daughter and was interested to see what the newest employee to.

"Prince David!" Mulan said loudly. She stood at erect before bowing low in respect.

Taking himself from the wall's support, the man held his hands up and said, "You really don't have to. David is fine. I just wanted to watch. I heard you guys had sparring practice every week." He looked interested between the two women.

Despite standing up straight again, Mulan averted her eyes. "Yes. How long were you standing there?" she asked hesitantly. She had fought before many different people, including the emperor himself. However, the father of the Savior seemed quite intimidating at the moment for the skilled woman. She felt a sudden wave of self-consciousness.

"Oh, not long," he replied. "But, now that I'm here, I was wondering… Would you mind?" He held his arms out, motioning around him.

Ruby let out a chuckle. "Be my guest, _your highness_." She emphasized his title mockingly. Though he was royalty, she doubted that he would be any match for Mulan. She took off her boxing gloves and tossed them to David, who put them on. He took off his shoes and put them under a nearby chair.

Slightly reddening, Mulan said, "O-of course!" She knew she was good, but at the same time she didn't want to embarrass her employer's father. Yet, the last thing she wanted was to be bested by a man, which she had fought for so long against.

Feeling conflicted, she got into her fighting stance as did he. They circled each other a few times. He tapped his boxing glove against Mulan's a few times before throwing a right jab at her.

The soldier may have quick reflexes, but she had just barely dodged the blow. Adrenaline rushed through her veins. This was the type of training she had longed for. Ruby was still a tough fighter, but David the formal training, even if very briefly. Forgetting her previous embarrassment, she simply longed for a good spar.

Mulan started returning punches as the prince deflected, blocked and dodged the attacks. He too came at her with strikes. Their movements grew faster and faster. Ruby's watched the two fighters in awe, her eyes large and enthralled.

When David attempted to kick Mulan, she came at him with a whole new style of fighting. She expertly blocked and countered his kick with her own. Unable to control herself, she sent a knee into his chest. As he leaned back in astonishment, her left hook caught him right in the face. It wasn't until she looked down at her blood-splattered glove did she realize the damage she did.

"PRINCE! I humbly beg your forgiveness!" she prostrated, bowing down low.

Ruby rushed over with a towel and handed it to the injured man. "Let me get some ice to stop the bleeding!" she said before hastily stepping out of the room.

David threw off his gloves and held his head back, the towel up to his nose. "No, it's okay. That was a good one, Mulan," he smiled, but the pain of muscle movements in his face caused him to wince. "I'll be okay. I don't think it's broken." He sat down on a chair, pinching his nose with the towel and leaning his head back to try to stop the bleeding.

The warrior ran to her duffle bag in the corner. Quickly, she returned to the prince and took him by the head. "Do not worry, your highness. I shall fix this," she informed him. Before he could say anything, Mulan held a cardboard tube against his nostril and pushed up. He yelled out in astonishment as he felt cotton being shoved into his cavity.

"Okay, here's the…." Ruby said as she returned. She stopped where she was when she saw the string hanging from his nose. "Mulan… You DIDN'T….!"

The woman was wiping blood from the man's face with the towel, satisfied that the bleeding had stopped. "You know, when experiencing a bloody nose, the best action is to lean forward in order to encourage the blood to clot. Otherwise, you may accidentally inhale the blood into your airways," she instructed him.

Ignoring the advice, David asked, "She didn't what?" He spun around to look at the mirrored wall. When he saw what was in his nose, he fainted. Luckily, Mulan was still standing next to him and eased him down to the floor.

Ruby went to the man's side, trying not to laugh at the sight. "Mulan! I think you have a problem!"

Mulan looked up at her friend confused. "Is this not what they were made for? To collect blood?"

"I know, but… Not like THIS! What do you think Emma, or even Snow will say?" Ruby said. Despite herself, she took her phone out of her pocket and snapped a quick picture. She tapped a couple of times on her phone before placing it securely back into her pocket. "I'm going to regret that…" she muttered to herself as she held the ice to David's nose. The tampon may have stopped the flow of blood, but she still wanted to constrict the veins and let the blood clot on its own.

Feeling the ice on his face, David woke up with a gasp. "What happened?" he asked. When he reached for his nose, feeling the coldness of the ice and the sore from the blow, he reoriented himself. "Oh, yeah… Thanks, Ruby."

Mulan helped David into a sitting position. He took hold of the ice and held it. "Head down," she reminded. He pointed his head down as he pressed the cold pack to his nose. "Again, I am very, VERY sorry for injuring you," the warrior said, in a low bow on her knees.

He put his hand on her, causing her to sit up again. "Please, don't. I'm just glad that you didn't hold back."

Suddenly, the front door of the office burst open. Angry footsteps were heard down the hallway. "Ruby! What in the hell is going on?" Emma shouted as she stormed into the workout room.

The sheriff observed the scene before her. Ruby, David, and Mulan were all on the floor. The two women sat on either side of her father, who had an ice pack to his nose and a string hanging from his nostril.

"We were… sparring. Mulan got me pretty good. Don't worry. It's just a bloody nose. I'll be fine," David said.

Emma walked over and yanked the tampon out of David's nose. When he saw the bloodied piece of cotton, he fainted again. Ruby and Mulan caught him, easing him to the floor again.

When she had received the picture and rushed to the office, Emma was furious. But when she actually saw her father with a tampon in his nose surrounded by her friends, she didn't know what to think. Seeing him faint from the sight of an almost-properly used tampon, she exploded into a fit of giggles. Ruby joined her, and eventually so did Mulan.

"He is NEVER going to live this down!" Emma laughed. After disposing of the cotton, she pulled out her phone. She forwarded the picture to her mother, Regina, and her friends' girlfriends. "Mulan, I'm really glad you came to Storybrooke," she smiled.

The warrior smiled back, looking at her two newest friends. "I too am glad to be here. Thank you."

* * *

**A/N: Note - I borrowed a line (about Regina not giving a bother) from WitchyLove14's "Adventures with Cora Mills" ch 22. If you haven't read it yet...****_ DISHONOR ON YOU! DISHONOR ON YOUR COW! _****It's pretty much the funniest thing ever written, and partially what inspired me to write a crack fic.**

**Please review! And keep up with "The Shattered Looking Glass"! It hurts so good...**


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